3 Mar 2006

VIRUS!!!

  • The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
  • The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.
  • The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory
  • The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to keep counting and re-counting
  • The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy
  • The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did
  • The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus -Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back
  • The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes
  • The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB
  • The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted
  • The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care
  • The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files
  • The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inchfloppy ... then discards it through windows

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