28 Mar 2007

Pesanan...

Semulia-mulia manusia ialah siapa yang mempunyai adab,
merendahkan diri ketika berkedudukan tinggi,
memaafkan ketika berdaya membalas
dan bersikap adil ketika kuat.
- Khalifah Abdul Malik bin Marwan

23 Mar 2007

Kids Again....!

A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.

"Unlawful is when u do something the law doesn't allow and illegal is a sick eagle."
Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."

Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."

Points to Ponder...

Sometimes we must be hurt in order to grow,
Sometimes we must fail in order to know,
Sometimes we must lose in order to gain,
Because some lessons in life are best learned through pain...

Being defeated is often only a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
- Marilyn vos Savant

If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you nevertake any chances.
- Julia Sorel

BAHAYA DUDUK TELALU LAMA.....

Duduk lama boleh bawa maut!
Darah pekerja habiskan masa berjam-jam hadap komputer mungkin jadi beku...

WELLINGTON: Pekerja pejabat yang menghabiskan masa terlalu lama duduk di meja masing-masing meletakkan nyawa mereka pada risiko tinggi, kata penyelidik.

Institut Penyelidikan Perubatan di New Zealand mendapati mereka berisiko tinggi menghadapi masalah darah beku yang boleh membawa maut.

Penyelidik mendapat satu pertiga daripada pesakit yang dimasukkan ke hospital kerana menghidap trombosis pembuluh darah vena (DVT) atau pembekuan darah, adalah pekerja pejabat yang menghabiskan masa berjam-jam mengadap komputer.

Kajian akan disiarkan dalam New Zealand Medical Journal. DVT ialah pembentukan darah beku dalam pembunuh darah vena, terutama di kaki.

Pembekuan boleh merebak ke hati, paru-paru atau otak, menyebabkan sakit dada, sesak nafas dan kemungkinan maut disebabkan serangan jantung atau angin ahmar.

Keadaan itu juga digelar sebagai 'sindrom kelas ekonomi' kerana penumpang yang duduk dalam penerbangan jarak jauh tanpa ruang untuk meregangkan badan, dianggap paling berisiko menghadapi masalah itu.

Penyelidik New Zealand memeriksa contoh 62 pesakit yang dimasukkan ke hospital dengan masalah darah beku, dan mendapati 34 peratus daripadanya duduk di meja mereka untuk jangka waktu lama.

Sebagai perbandingan, 21 peratus baru-baru ini menaiki penerbangan jarak jauh. Bagaimanapun, penyelidik menerima bahawa lebih ramai duduk di meja mereka dalam jangka panjang berbanding berada dalam penerbangan jarak jauh.

Ketua penyelidik, Profesor Richard Beasley, berkata sebahagian pekerja pejabat yang menghidap masalah itu duduk di depan skrin di meja mereka selama 14 jam sehari.

"Sebahagian daripada mereka duduk berterusan selama tiga atau empat jam pada satu-satu masa tanpa bangun langsung," katanya.

Profesor Beasley berkata, masalah ialah yang paling biasa dalam industri teknologi maklumat dan pusat panggilan.

Pakar Psikologi dan Kesihatan Universiti Lancaster, Profesor Cary Cooper, berkata dia tidak terperanjat dengan penemuan itu.

Katanya, orang ramai bekerja lebih lama berbanding sebelum ini, dan selalunya tidak menikmati rehat makan tengah hari dengan sempurna, sebaliknya cuma mengambil sandwic sambil melayan emel.

"Pekerja pejabat tidak bangun dan berjalan seperti yang mereka pernah lakukan," katanya.

DVT menjejaskan kira-kira 100,000 orang dan membunuh sehingga 1,000 pesakit di Britain setiap tahun.

me: Tak tahulah benar ke tidaknya ni... Tapi siapa yg rajin 5 waktu OKlah kot... :D

22 Mar 2007

Appraisal Letter...

Dear Manager (HR),

Vivek, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Vivek works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Vivek never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Vivek takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Vivek is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Vivek can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Vivek be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.

Signed - Project Leader


NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11 & 13) for my true assessment of him.


Me: Truly amazing...! LOL!

19 Mar 2007

Maths!

Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

16 Mar 2007

Ahhh Technology!

You Know You Are Living In 2007 When...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen..

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

R2-D2






While we are busy with e-mail the US Postal Service comes out with R2-D2 (Star Wars robot) mail boxes. The post office is wrap
ping mail collection boxes in some 200 cities nationwide in a special covering to look like R2-D2. It's part of a promotion for a new stamp to be announced March 28 this year.








Home becomes an 'island' in building row...

Only one home remains after developers moved in

As far as planning disputes go, it is a far cry from letters of complaint to the council over an unsightly conservatory.

After a row with developers, this family's home has been left perched 12m (40ft) up on its own concrete island.

It all started when they refused to accept compensation to move and, while the row rumbled on, the bulldozers excavated the site around them.

Rumoured to have government connections, the family is not expected to be forced out.

But popping to the shops might be a bit difficult. And as for getting the car out of the garage – well, who knows?

The house is in Chongqing, central China – the fastest growing urban centre in the world, with more than 4million residents.

The boom is fuelled by strong economic growth and the 2008 Beijing Olympics. But behind the scenes is a debate, that has been raging for ten years, over the need for a law giving legal protection to private property in a Communist state.


Source: DANIEL BATES of Metro UK.

15 Mar 2007

Kisah Seram Si Pemancing...

... dari e-mail kengkawan, tak tahulah betul tidaknya...

Ajis memang kaki pancing, mana saja lubuk & sungai semua dia pergi, kalau ada yg cakap kat sungai tu ada ikan, ajis mesti pi try mancing kat situ.

Satu hari masa minum kat kedai kopi Pak Ngah Jiman, Ajis terdengar rakan2 sekampungnya bercerita tentang satu lubuk baru yg banyak ikan ditemui kat sungai di kampung seberang, kampung tu agak jauh & pedalaman sungai tu lebih kurang 5 km dr kampung tu, dekat tepi pinggir hutan.

Tengahari tu, Ajis dah bersiap nak pegi memancing kat lubuk yang diceritakan, siap pakai helmet, Ajis masukkan bekalan minum petang dan pancingnya dlm raga motor. Sepanjang perjalanan Ajis bernyanyi riang, jauh jugak nak kekampung seberang tu, dah hampir masuk waktu Asar baru Ajis sampai, teringat pulak dia tak sempat solat Zohor tadi & dia terpikir, karang kalau terus pi sungai tu, tak sempat plak solat Asar.

Tak lama kemudian Ajis nampak sebuah surau yg agak uzur kat tepi jalan sunyi kampung tu. bergegas dia berhenti, ditengoknya keliling tak ada orang, sunyi saja surau tu. Ajis segera mengambil wuduk dgn tergesa2 sbb waktu Zohor dah hampir nak habis.

Masa Ajis di rakaat yg kedua, Ajis tiba-tiba terdengar bunyi suara orang ketawa. Bulu romanya tiba2 meremang, "Hish, sapa pulak yg gelak2 tu?" bisik hati Ajis, setiap kali Ajis sujud, Ajis terasa kepala & tengkuknya berat dr biasa, Ajis tak sedap hati, ni surau tinggal ker, sbb dah uzur sangat dan alahai, sapa pulak duduk kat tengkuk dia ni. Sedaya-upaya Ajis tenangkan hati, selesaikan solat dgn segera, dia nak tinggalkan cepat surau tu. Bulu romanya semakin meremang-remang sbb suara org ketawa semakin ramai, ada yg sampai terbatuk-batuk.

Syukur, Ajis dah berada di tahiyat terakhir, selesai memberi salam ke kanan dan ke kiri, Ajis meraup mukanya dgn tangan dr atas ubun2 kepala sampai ke dagu, then tiba-tiba Ajis tersedar. Hehehe...rupa-rupanya dia terlupa nak tanggalkan helmet masa nak sembahyang tadi, sbb terlampau nak cepat, bila dia toleh belakang, patutlah dengar orang ketawa, rupa-rupanya tok imam, bilal dan orang2 kampung yg dtg nak sembahyang Asar duk gelakkan dia sebab Ajis sembahyang pakai helmet, patut ler kepala dia rasa berat semacam.

Terus Ajis blah macam tu ajer, tak jadi pi memancing, dia pusing balik, sembahyang Asar kat rumah sendiri sajalah jawabnya...


Have A Wonderful Day...



I just could not resist sending this card.
Hope you share this with others and make their day!!!

CLICK!!!


9 Mar 2007

Lateral and Logical thinking...

Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the village money lender. The money lender, who was old and horrible, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal.

The cunning money lender suggested that they let providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.
  1. If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.
  2. If she picked the white pebble, she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.
  3. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
Standing on a pebble-strewn path in the farmer's field, the money lender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field that day. What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
  1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
  2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money lender as a cheat.
  3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
Take a moment to ponder over this story. Experts use it to make people appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.

The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chose any of the logical choices. What would you recommend to the girl do?


Do not look at the answer yet, give your advise after 5 minute of your own lateral thinking .....


ANSWER
Well, here is what she did. She put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles. "Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."

Since the remaining pebble was black, they had to assume that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Most complex problems do have a solution, which you can find if you stretch your mind. If logic isn't working try lateral thinking. Lateral thinking is a creative exercise. Practice it every day.

The secret to success is to know something nobody else knows...


7 Mar 2007

Put Down Your Burdens

A professor was giving a lecture to his students on stress management. He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, "How heavy do you think this glass of water is?"

The students' answers ranged from 20g to 500gm.

"It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it is OK. If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance. It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

"If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able to carry on, the burden becoming increasingly heavier."

"What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before holding it up again."

We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on.

So before you return home from work tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it back home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders, let it down for a moment if you can.

Pick it up again later when you have rested... Rest and relax.

Life is short, enjoy it!

6 Mar 2007

How much water do you need a day?

Water is an important structural component of skin cartilage, tissues and organs. For human beings, every part of the body is dependent on water. Our body comprises about 75% water: the brain has 85%, blood is 90%, muscles are 75%, kidney is 82% and bones are 22% water. The functions of our glands and organs will eventually deteriorate if they are not nourished with good, clean water.

The average adult loses about
2.5 litres water daily through perspiration, breathing and elimination. Symptoms of the body's deterioration begins to appear when the body loses 5% of its total water volume. In a healthy adult, this is seen as fatigue and general discomfort, whereas for an infant, it can be dehydrating.

In an elderly person, a 5% water loss causes the body chemistry to become abnormal, especially if the percentage of electrolytes is overbalanced with sodium. One can usually see symptoms of aging, such as wrinkles, lethargy and even disorientation. Continuous water loss over time will speed up aging as well as increase risks of diseases.

If your body is not sufficiently hydrated, the cells will draw water from your bloodstream, which will make your heart work harder. At the same time, the kidneys cannot pu
rify blood effectively. When this happens, some of the kidney's workload is passed on to the liver and other organs, which may cause them to be severely stressed. Additionally, you may develop a number of minor health conditions such as constipation, dry and itchy skin, acne, nosebleeds, urinary tract infection, coughs, sneezing, sinus pressure, and headaches.

So, how much water is enough for you? The minimum amount of water you need depends on your body weight. A more accurate calculation, is to drink an ounce of water for every two pounds of body weight.

Here is the calculation for your minimum water need per day:-

(your weight (kg) X 2.2)/2/15 X 450=? to convert to liter = /1000

e.g.: 50kg X2.2 = 110/2 = 55/15 = 3.66 = 3.7X450 = 1650ml/1000 = 1.65L



5 Mar 2007

Six feet... 18SX

A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. "Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me." Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What's going on?" "Nonsense," said the wife. "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there." The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. You're right, you know."

2 Mar 2007

Three Things In Life....

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back:-
Time
Words
Opportunity

Three things in life that may never be lost:-
Peace
Hope
Honesty

Three things in life that are most valuable:-
Love
Self-Confidence
Friends

Three things in life that are never certain:-
Dreams
Success
Fortune

Three things that make a man/woman:-
Hardwork
Sincerity
Commitment

Three things in life that can destroy a man/woman:-
Alcohol
Pride
Anger

Three things in life that, once lost, hard to build-up:-
Respect
Trust
Friendship

Three things in life that never fail:-
True Love
Determination
Belief


Jokes for Today...

I'D LOVE TO BE EIGHT AGAIN

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. I'd love to be eight again" she replied. On the morning of her birthday he rose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops and then took her off to the local theme park.

What a Day! He put her on every ride in the park:

* The Death Slide


* The Wall of Fear


* The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster


Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away they journeyed to a McDonalds where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate milk shake.

Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, her favorite lolly and M&Ms.

What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed exhausted.

He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked "Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed "I meant my dress size, you twit"

The moral of this story: Even when a man is listening, he's still going to get it wrong...



Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Q: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

A: DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.

JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?


1 Mar 2007

Black and White...

Postage stamp


The United States Postal Service has created a stamp with a picture of President George W. Bush to honor his first term achievements.

Unfortunately, the stamp has not been sticking to the envelopes. This has enraged the President, who has demanded a full investigation into the matter. After a month of testing, a special Presidential Commission has made the following findings:-

1. The stamp is in perfect order.

2. There is nothing wrong with the applied adhesive.

3. People are just spitting on the wrong side.


Interesting link...


Hormat adalah seperti nasi dan populariti hanyalah seperti rojak. Yang manakah kita perlukan setiap hari ?


What Say You? © 2005 - 2016.