5 Aug 2007

Ah... computers!

Fix It Again
Young Susie was having trouble with her computer so she called Wes, the computer guy, over to her desk. Wes clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away Susie called after him, "So, what was wrong?" And he replied, "It was an 'ID ten T' error." A puzzled expression ran riot over Susie's f
ace. " 'An ID ten T' error? What's that, in case I need to fix it again?" He gave her a grin. "Haven't you ever seen an 'ID ten T' error before?" Susie replied, "No." "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
. . . . . . . . . . I D 1 0 T


Software Development Cycle
Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That progra
m shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an elaborate path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle.


Programmer
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.

4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.

8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on an overly optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming te
am fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.



A Missing Programmer
A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when finally someone noticed and called the cops.
They went round to his flat and broke the door down. They found him dead
in the still running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. Apparently he'd been washing his hair.
The instructions on the bottle said:

* Wet hair
* Apply shampoo

* Wait 2 minutes
* Rinse
* Repeat

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