19 Jan 2007

Questions I've never been able to answer...

  • Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
  • If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
  • Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
  • Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
  • Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
  • Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
  • Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
  • Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  • Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
  • What is the speed of darkness?
  • Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?
  • If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
  • If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
  • Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
  • Do you cry under water?
  • How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
  • Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......
  • Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
  • Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."
  • Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
  • Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
  • Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
  • Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
  • Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
  • If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!!!!!)
  • If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
  • If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
  • Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
  • Stop singing and read on . . . . . . . .
  • Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
  • Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive any faster?

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