Kalau Mahu Senang

Mukadimah

Malam tadi aku call sahabat ku Khalid Salleh minta izin untuk menyiarkan puisi-puisinya dari antologi puisinya Bukan Apa-Apa di blog ini. Alhamdulillah dia izinkan! Terima kasih banyak-banyak Wak... Aku tak pasti di zaman sekarang ni masih ada lagi ke orang yang berminat untuk menghayati puisi??? Meleraikan yang tersirat dari yang tersurat perlukan fikiran yang tajam, perasaan yang halus serta dibantu oleh siri-siri pengalaman yang ditempuhi dalam kehidupan seseorang insan itu. Oleh itu buat permulaan aku paparkan puisi beliau yang berjudul Kalau Mahu Senang.

KALAU MAHU SENANG

aku sedang mencari rumusan
bagaimana buah kelapa bersabut dan bertempurung keras
lepas itu hasilnya akan ku berikan kepada semua orang
supaya mereka jangan makan buah kelapa
setidak-tidaknya untuk beberapa ketika
sebab buah kelapa mengandungi minyak dan air sekali gus

minyak boleh membuat hati manusia menjadi kotor
sebab kenyataannya ramai pesakit darah tinggi dan kencing manis
menjauhi masakan yang mengandungi minyak dan gula

setelah berjaya rumusan itu nanti
barangkali para sarjana akan mengeluarkan sebuah kenyataan
bahawa kencing manis dan darah tinggi bermula dari buah kelapa
sebaiknya untuk mengelakkan
supaya jangan terkena sakit yang membimbangkan itu
setiap keluarga jangan menggunakan kelapa dalam masakannya

aku pun diberi sijil kerana kegigihanku
dalam menyelidiki sebab apa buah kelapa
menjadi buah pertemuan
minyak dan gula serta air
kerana itu
Tuhan memang seni dan bijaksana
sehingga pertemuan kulit dengan isi
tersimpul dalam sebuah biji kelapa
perkara ini memang sangat menakjubkan
tapi sangat jarang yang membuat perhatian terhadapnya

kalau mahu senang
buatlah perumpamaan diri
kenapa mulut dan hati begitu sukar
mengakui adanya pertemuan
dunia dan akhirat di sebalik kekerasan jantung
yang memang menyerupai
bentuk sebiji kelapa.

- Khalid Salleh
Sanggar Karya
1998.

This is What Oprah Has to Say About Men

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant tobe.
Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you trulyhappy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behaviour.*

Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a twoWay street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationshipYou should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary... not supplementary.

Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. -Isn't this TRUE!!!!!
Never move into his mother's house.Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
* Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another prepare.



Me = Huh!!! Phew!!! I am sweating...

Public Toilet in Houston...

Here's a picture of a public toilet in Houston.

Now that you have seen the outside view of the Toilet, just spend some more time scrolling down to see how it looks from inside..!!

That's made entirely out of one-way glass. No one can see you in there, but when you are inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box. Would you use it?!?!!!!!....

My New Site

I am a bit busy right now working on my new site :-)
http://cybermild.bravehost.com

11th Asean Summit

Please note that Twenty-four roads around the Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre, the venue for the 11th Asean Summit, will be closed from 7.30am to 8.30am and 7.30pm and 8.30pm on Monday, Dec 12, Tuesday, Dec 13 and Wednesday, Dec 14 (morning only)

Motorists have been advised to avoid using those roads during the period, or to take public transport.

Any query should be referred to the Traffic Control Room (Ops Asean XI) at 03-20268414 or 03- 20729044 (ext 6072).

The main roads affected are Jalan Bukit Bintang, Jalan Sultan Ismail, Jalan P.Ramlee, Jalan Pinang and Jalan Pahang.

Sections of the roads to be closed are:

• Jalan Bukit Bintang/Jalan Imbi (LTAT) junction -- traffic from Jalan Tun Razak to Bukit Bintang will be diverted to Jalan Imbi
• Jalan Bukit Bintang/Jalan Raja Chulan junction -- traffic from Jalan Raja Chulan will be diverted to Jalan Bukit Bintang/Jalan Tun Razak
• Jalan Bukit Bintang/Jalan Sultan Ismail junction (from Jalan Imbi to Jalan P.Ramlee, closure of the right lane)
• Jalan Raja Chulan/Jalan Sultan Ismail junction -- traffic from KL Tower to Jalan Perak will be diverted to Jalan Puncak/Jalan Ramlee
• Jalan Raja Chulan/Jalan P.Ramlee junction -- traffic from Jalan P.Ramlee (bus and taxi lane) will be diverted to Jalan Sultan Ismail
• Jalan Puncak/Jalan P.Ramlee junction -- traffic from KL Tower to Jalan P.Ramlee and Jalan Sultan Ismail will be diverted to Jalan Raja Chulan
• Lorong P.Ramlee/Jalan P.Ramlee junction -- traffic will be diverted to Jalan Raja Chulan
• Jalan Sultan Ismail/Jalan Ampang junction -- traffic from Jalan Raja Abdullah to Jalan P.Ramlee will be diverted to Jalan Ampang while traffic from Jalan Ampang/Dang Wangi to Jalan Ampang will be diverted to Jalan Raja Abdullah.
• Jalan P.Ramlee/Lorong Perak junction
• Jalan Perak/Jalan P.Ramlee junction
• Jalan P.Ramlee/Jalan Pinang junction
• KLCC/Jalan Pinang traffic light;
• traffic from Jalan Perak to Jalan Pinang (UOA)
• Jalan Changkat Kia Peng/Jalan Kia Peng
• Persiaran Stonor/Jalan Stonor
• Jalan Stonor/Jalan Kia Peng junction to Jalan Raja Chulan and KLCC
• Jalan Stonor/Exxon Mobil junction to Exxon Mobil
• Lorong Kuda/Jalan Stonor junction -- traffic will be diverted to the KLCC carpark and Jalan Medan Kuda
• Medan Kuda/Jalan Binjai junction -- traffic will be diverted to Jalan KLCC
• Lorong Binjai/Jalan Binjai -- traffic will be diverted to Jalan Medan Kuda and Jalan Tun Razak
• Jalan Ampang/Jalan Tun Razak junction -- traffic from Ampang to KLCC will be diverted to Jalan Tun Razak while traffic from Jalan Tun Razak will be diverted to Jalan Ampang and Jalan Tun Razak
• KLCC exit/Jalan Ampang from Hotel Nikko
• Jalan Ampang/Jalan Yap Kwan Seng junction -- traffic from Jalan Yap Kwan Seng will be diverted to Jalan Ampang while traffic from Jalan Ampang (Renaissance) will be diverted to Jalan Yap Kwan Seng and
• Jalan Kia Peng/Jalan Raja Chulan junction -- traffic will diverted to Jalan Perak.

MiLd Toolbar

I have a toolbar called mild toolbar and if you would like to try it please download it at:-

MiLd Toolbar

Any comments/ideas/suggestions are really appreciated... :-)

It's working well with the Internet Explorer and Firefox 1.0+

What does the mild toolbar let you do?

• Instant access to our site from any site on the web
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If still in doubt check the HELP file... :-)

Technorati Profile

Conclusive proof of global warming

The Guys' Rules

At last, a guy who has taken the time to write this down.

We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, NOT A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as cars, motorcycles, shooting or our hobby.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can to give them some guide lines.

Pass this to as many women as you can to give them an insight to the truth.

Me = :-) ROTFL!!!

THINK!!! Before you speak...

FIRST TESTIMONY
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" Hearing myself, I turned right around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word ... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type that I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who work at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and run amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said loudly in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.

Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven month old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.". Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. So, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST TESTIMONY
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any...? Here's a true story:

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did, too - they were laughing so hard!

Well now, y'all, didn't that feel good?

Photobucket

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

Farmer John

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."

"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff. "I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!"

So the next day he had the county workers go out and erect a sign that said SLOW SCHOOL CROSSING. Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, "Still no good. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster."

So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY. That didn't help either.

So Farmer John called and asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?" The sheriff old him, "Sure thing." The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John.

Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?"

"Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then."

The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign... it might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers." So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign NUDIST COLONY Go slow and watch out for the chicks.

Magic...

There was this magician of some repute who was hired to do his act aboard a Cruise ship. He had been there for several years, and since the crowd was in continual change, he did the same act over and over. He enjoyed the good life in this sense, spending most his time out on the Promenade Deck working on his tan, not new tricks.

One day the Captain bought a parrot, and over the months brought the parrot with him to see the nightly magic show.

Being a smart parrot, the bird learned all the tricks as to where the cards, flower, etc. were hidden by the magician in his act. The bird would say, "The card is up his left sleeve, the flower is under the pot, he hid the money under his shoe..."

Because the parrot would only take about a week to catch on to his magic tricks, the magician was forced to continually learn new ones, which was getting harder and harder by the day, and really cramping his "sun time." To put it mildly he hated the darn parrot, but since it was the Captain's he couldn't just weigh the bird down and drown it.

Late one night the engine room exploded and the ship sank within minutes. Miraculously, the magician found himself clinging to a timber, floating in the water surrounded by darkness. Alas, he was the only one left alive!

As the sun came up the next morning and he turned around what should be sitting 20 feet away on the opposite end of the log--his arch nemesis, the parrot!

They glared at each other and said nothing. This went on for three days and neither said a word, just glared. On the fourth day the parrot finally broke the silence and said, "Okay! I give up. What did you do with the ship?"

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 20, a woman is like Africa.
Half discovered, half-wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 21 and 30, a woman is like America.
Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, she is like India.
Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France.
Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, she is like Yugoslavia.
Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia,
Very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia.
A glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.

After 70, they become like Afghanistan.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

Renungan di Pagi Jumaat...

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

Petua untuk murah rezeki dan dijauhkan kesulitan
Abu Yazid Al Busthami, pelopor sufi, pada suatu hari pernah didatangi seorang lelaki yang wajahnya kusam dan keningnya selalu berkerut. Dengan murung lelaki itu mengadu, "Tuan Guru, sepanjang hidup saya, rasanya tak pernah lepas saya beribadah kepada Allah. Orang lain sudah lelap, saya masih bermunajat. Isteri saya belum bangun, saya sudah mengaji. Saya juga bukan pemalas yang enggan mencari rezeki. Tetapi mengapa saya selalu malang dan kehidupan saya penuh kesulitan?"

Sang Guru menjawab sederhana, "Perbaiki penampilanmu dan rubahlah roman mukamu. Kau tahu, Rasulullah SAW adalah penduduk dunia yang miskin namun wajahnya tak pernah keruh dan selalu ceria. Sebab menurut Rasulullah SAW, salah satu tanda penghuni neraka ialah muka masam yang membuat orang curiga kepadanya." Lelaki itu tertunduk. Ia pun berjanji akan memperbaiki penampilannya.

Mulai hari itu, wajahnya senantiasa berseri. Setiap kesedihan diterima dengan sabar, tanpa mengeluh. Alhamdullilah sesudah itu ia tak pernah datang lagi untuk berkeluh kesah. Keserasian selalu dijaga. Sikapnya ramah, wajahnya senantiasa mengulum senyum bersahabat. Roman mukanya berseri.

Tak heran jika Imam Hasan Al Basri berpendapat, awal keberhasilan suatu pekerjaan adalah roman muka yang ramah dan penuh senyum. Bahkan Rasulullah SAW menegaskan, senyum adalah sedekah paling murah tetapi paling besar pahalanya.

Demikian pula seorang suami atau seorang isteri. Alangkah celakanya rumah tangga jika suami isteri selalu berwajah tegang. Begitu juga celakanya persahabatan sekiranya di kalangan mereka saling tidak berteguran. Sebab tak ada persoalan yang diselesaikan dengan mudah melalui kekeruhan dan ketegangan. Dalam hati yang tenang, pikiran yang dingin dan wajah cerah, Insya Allah, apapun persoalannya nescaya dapat diatasi. Inilah yang dinamakan keluarga sakinah, yang didalamnya penuh dengan cinta dan kasih sayang.

Anda ingin beramal soleh...? Maklumkan kepada rakan-rakan muslim lainnya yang anda kenal.

Special High Intensity Training...

Memo to all employees:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T) .

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).
Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T you may be interested in a job teaching others.
We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING G LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T).


Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)


P.S. Now tell this S.H.I.T to the people who need S.H.I.T in their life, just not to the same person who told you this S.H.I.T .

Thank you for your time. !

Sincerely,
The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.
(The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T).

Computing....

1. Upgrading to Wife 1.0
Last year a friend of mine upgraded from Girlfriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving few system resources for other applications. He is also now noticing the Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child-processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomenon was included in the product documentation, though other users have informed me that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself so that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. Some applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Bachelor Party 2.5, and Pub Night 7.0 are no longer able to run on the system at all, causing the system to lockup when launched (even though the apps worked fine before).

Wife 1.0 provides no installation options. Thus, the installation of undesired plug-ins such as Mother-in-law 55.8 and the Brother-in-law Beta is unavoidable. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features my friend would like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0:
* A "don't remind me again" button.
* Minimize button.
* Ability to delete the "headache" file
* An install feature that provides an option to
uninstall 2.0 versions without loss of other system
resources.
* An option to run the network driver in "promiscuous
mode" allowing the system's Hardware Probe feature to
be much more useful/effective.

I myself wish I had decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 3.0 Even here, however, I have found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 4.0 on top of girlfriend 3.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 3.0 first; otherwise the two versions of Girlfriend will have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. Other users have told me that this is a long-standing problem that I should have been aware of. Guess that explains what happened to versions 1 and 2.

To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 3.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another identified problem is that all versions of Girlfriend have annoying little messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0!

VIRUS ALERT
All users should be aware that Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MS Money files before doing the uninstall itself. Once that happens, Mistress 1.1 won't install and you will get an "insufficient resources" error message. To avoid the aforementioned bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and " never" run any file transfer applications (such as Laplink) between the two systems.

FYI: Don't even think about a shared directory!!!


2. Upgrade Boyfriend 5 to Husband 1
Dear Tech Support

Help!! I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software; severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, Saturday Football 5.0, Golf 2.4 and Clutter Everywhere 4.5.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this general purpose utility is of limited effectiveness.

Can you help, please!!!!

(Signed) Alice

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Alice

This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0. .

Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME". Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/ Chocolates 7.8.

TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C\I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and Snoring Loudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip! Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran.

Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.

A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.

I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in the coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!

Sincerely, Tech Support

Another laugh a bit...

PARROT
A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad." When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband Roger came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Roger !"


p.s. Hee hee… where has Roger been…?

Starting my day today...

3 Brazilian soldiers
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the president exclaims. "That's terrible!" His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands. Finally, president looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"


Up...
It's no wonder people can't master the English language! There is a 2 letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other word, and that is "UP"

It's easy to understand UP meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election, and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers, and clean UP.

We lock UP the house, and fix things UP.

At other times UP has special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning, but close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now. My time is UP, so
I'll shut UP!


THE IMAGES OF MOTHER:
4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that either.
16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother, She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman, She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom once more.

Send this to Mum...


THE MECHANIC & THE HEART SURGEON
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag, and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in. When I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks? You and I are doing basically the same work."

The surgeon smiled, leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic, "Try doing that with the engine running."

Got these from my e-mail... :-)

I'm BACK!!!

Hi all!!! Selamat Hariraya Aidilfitri once again :) Hope everyone is happy after celebrating the hariraya. Next week might be a heavy traffic again because all of the KL city residents would be back on Sunday 13th November. For now I am going to settle a lot of things here and there...

SELAMAT HARIRAYA AIDILFITRI untuk semua...

Aku dengan suci hati mengambil kesempatan ini untuk mengucapkan

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI buat semua pelawat-pelawat Blog ini yang beragama Islam semoga gembira di Hariraya nanti. Jagalah diri dan keluarga baik-baik. Selalulah "jalan-jalan" ke Blog ini

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI buat saudara-mara ku jauh dan dekat, moga bertemu di hari lebaran nanti kalau ada kesempatan jika tidak... ku mohon ampun maaf dan halalkan segala makan dan minum ku.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI buat semua teman-teman yang mengenali ku di mana saja berada semoga bahagia di Hariraya bersama keluarga. Ampunkan salah silap ku.

HAPPY AIDILFITRI to our Muslim brothers and sisters in Iraq, Palestine, Afghanistan and Pakistan; may Allah bless you in celebrating the Aidilfitri....

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI buat semua umat Islam di dunia ini.

HAPPY AIDILFITRI to Muslimins and Muslimats all over the world...

Allahu Akbar.

10 jenis tangisan...

Kata Ibnu Qayyim...

Ada 10 Jenis Tangis:-
1) Menangis kerana kasih sayang & kelembutan hati.
2) Menangis kerana rasa takut.
3) Menangis kerana cinta.
4) Menangis kerana gembira.
5) Menangis kerana menghadapi penderitaan.
6) Menangis kerana terlalu sedih.
7) Menangis kerana terasa hina dan lemah.
8) Menangis untuk mendapat belas kasihan orang.
9) Menangis kerana mengikut-ikut orang menangis.
10) Menangis orang munafik - pura-pura menangis.

"..dan bahawasanya DIA lah yang menjadikan orang tertawa dan menangis."
(AnNajm : 43)

Jadi, Allah lah yang menciptakan ketawa dan tangis, serta menciptakan sebab tercetusnya. Banyak air mata telah mengalir di dunia ini. Sumbernya dari mata mengalir ke pipi terus jatuh ke bumi. Mata itu kecil namun ia tidak pernah kering ia berlaku setiap hari tanpa putus-putus. Sepertilah sungai yang mengalir ke laut tidak pernah berhenti?. Kalaulah airmata itu di tampung banjirlah dunia ini.

Tangis tercela atau terpuji??
Ada tangisan yang sangat dicela umpamanya meratapi mayat dengan meraung dan memukul-mukul dada atau merobek-robek pakaian.

Ada pula tangisan yang sangat-sangat dipuji dan dituntut iaitu tangisan kerana menginsafi dosa-dosa yang silam atau tangis kerana takut akan azab dan siksa Allah.

Tangisan dapat memadamkan api Neraka
"Rasulullah saw bersabda : Tidaklah mata seseorang menitiskan air mata kecuali Allah akan mengharamkan tubuhnya dari api neraka. Dan apabila air matanya mengalir ke pipi maka wajahnya tidak akan terkotori oleh debu kehinaan, apabila seorang daripada suatu kaum menangis, maka kaum itu akan di rahmati. Tidaklah ada sesuatupun yang tak mempunyai kadar dan balasan kecuali air mata. Sesungguhnya air mata dapat memadamkan lautan api neraka."

Airmata taubat Nabi Adam a.s Beliau menangis selama 300 tahun tanpa mendongak ke langit tersangat takut dan hibanya terhadap dosa yang telah ia lakukan.Dia bersujud di atas gunung dan air matanya mengalir di jurang Serandip. Dari air matanya itulah Allah telah menumbuhkan pohon kayu manis dan pohon bunga cengkih. Beberapa ekor burung telah meminum akan airmata Adam lalu berkata, "Manis sungguh air ini." Nabi Adam terdengar lalu menyangka burung itu mempersendakannya lalu ia memperhebatkan tangisannya. Lalu Allah mendengar dan menerima taubat Adam dan mewahyukan, "Hai Adam sesungguhnya belum Aku pernah menciptakan air lebih lazat daripada airmata taubat mu!."

Airmata yang tidak dituntut:
Janganlah menangis kalau tak tercapai cita-cita bukankah Tuhan yang telah menentukannya. Janganlah menangis bila menonton filem hindustan, itukan cuma lakonan.
Janganlah menangis kerana cinta tak berbalas mungkin dia bukanlah jodoh yang telah Tuhan tetapkan.
Janganlah menangis jika gagal dalam ujian mungkin kita kurang membuat persediaan .
Jangan menangis kalau wang kita hilang di jalanan sebab mungkin kita kurang bersedekah buat amalan.
Janganlah menangis kalau tidak dinaikkan pangkat yakinlah, rezki itu adalah pemberian Tuhan.

Dari itu??.. Simpanlah airmata-airmata tangisan itu semua buat bekalan untuk menginsafi di atas segala kecuaian yang telah melanda diri, segala dosa-dosa yang berupa bintik-bintik hitam yang telah mengkelamkan hati hingga sukar untuk menerima hidayah dari Allah swt. Serulah airmata itu dari persembunyiannya di balik kelopak mata agar ia menitis membasahi dan mencuci hati agar ia putih kembali dan juga semoga ia dapat melebur dosa-dosa dan moga-moga akan mendapat keampunanNya jua.

Junjungan Mulia bersabda
"Ada 2 biji mata yang tak tersentuh api neraka, mata yang menangis di waktu malam hari kerana takut kepada Allah swt dan 2 biji mata yang menjaga pasukan fi sabillah di waktu malam."

"Di antara 7 golongan manusia yang akan mendapat naungan Allah dihari qiamat"?? Seseorang yang berzikir bersendirian lalu mengenang tentang kebesaran Allah swt lalu bercucuran airmatanya."

"Jika tubuh seseorang hamba gementar kerana takut kepada Allah, maka berguguranlah dosa-dosanya bak gugurnya dedaunan dari pepohonan kering."

Airmata tanda rahmat Tuhan
Rasulullah saw bersabda : Jagalah mayat ketika kematiannya & perhatikanlah 3 perkara.

1) Apabila dahi nya berpeluh.
2) Airmatanya berlinang.
3) Hidungnya keluar cecair seperti hingus.

kerana hal hal tersebut menandakan rahmat Allah swt untuk si mayat.
(riwayat dari Salman al Faarisi)

Sucikanlah 4 hal dengan 4 perkara :
Wajahmu dengan linangan air mata keinsafan,
Lidahmu basah dengan berzikir kepada Penciptamu,
Hatimu takut dan gementar kepada kehebatan Rabbmu,
dan dosa-dosa yang silam di sulami dengan taubat kepada Dzat yang Memilikimu.

Lengang...!

KL dah mulai ditinggalkan! Pagi tadi aku ke pejabat mudah aje. Tapi petang ni tak tahu lagi macam mana tapi rasanya mereka balik lepas berbuka kot... Rasa gembira nak raya dah mulai terbit begitu juga rasa sedih nak berpisah dengan Ramadhan...

Aidilfitri makin hampir...

Pejam celik, pejam celik... lagi seminggu nak raya! Seronoknya perantau berhari raya ialah kerana nak balik kampung... seronoknya balik kampung berhariraya ialah bila ayah bonda masih ada... Sejak kehilangan ayah dan bonda sejak 5 tahun lalu, hariraya aku dah tak seronok lagi macam semasa mereka ada. Tangan mereka yang ku cium selalu sudah tiada lagi... so bagi yang masih ada ibu dan bapa tu pergilah menjengok mereka di kampung...

Besok sehari lagi aku bekerja then cuti sampai 8-11-2005, so is my blog! :) Ucapan rasmi akan aku buat besok di blog ni... :)

You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it. - Charles Buxton.

Ironic....

This has to be one of the biggest jokes in computer history! Not that I am saying that it is wrong but it is a bit of a laugh!! See for yourself.

Please follow the simple instructions:-
1- Go to www.google.com
2- Type in "Failure", without the quotes
3- Instead of hitting Search hit I'm feeling Lucky
4- See what comes up!
5- Tell your friends before the people at Google fix it

Kisah Buah Tamar

Petikan artikel dari Majalah Anis keluaran Oktober 2005.

Ketibaan bulan Ramadan tidak meriah tanpa dapat menikmati buah tamar sebagai juadah berbuka puasa. Seperti menjadi satu kewajipan bagi setiap rumah untuk membelinya tidak kira dari jenis, gred yang paling rendah atau yang paling mahal seperti tamar ajwah 'pure' Madinah yang berharga RM120.00 sekilo pada hari biasa manakala pada bulan ramadan harganya menjadi lebih mahal. Tamar juga menurut kajian sains merupakan buah yang khasiat dan kandungan gulanya cepat meresap ke dalam tubuh. Kita selalu mendengar kisah2 Rasulullah s.a.w. dengan pohon tamar. Nyata pohon tamar punya sejarah yang cukup unik dan masih ramai tidak mengetahuinya.

Syukur dengan berkat mengunjungi Makkah dan Madinah untuk mengerjakan umrah semasa pengambaran Drama Cinta Madinah yang bakal disiarkan ceritanya pada saluran RTM bulan ini, saya dan semua krew dan artis memperolehi satu lagi cerita istimewa asal-usul kejadian pokok tamar dari Tuan Haji Isa Darus atau Pak Long (Kisah Pak Long Isa pernah tersiar dalam Anis julai lalu).

Menurut cerita Pak Long , asal-usul kejadian pokok tamar adalah dari lebihan tanah yang Allah s.w.t. ciptakan Nabi Adam a.s.

Pokok tamar betina tumbuh pada zaman Siti Maryam. Selepas Maryam melahirkan anaknya Nabi Isa a.s., Siti Maryam telah diminta oleh Allah s.w.t untuk menggoncangkan pohon tamar yang terdapat di tempat dia melahirkan anaknya lalu gugurlah buah tamar masak dan di makan oleh Siti Maryam.

Itulah sejarah yang pertama tamar menjadi ubat berkhasiat kepada manusia. Siti Maryam dapat mengalas perut untuk mengumpul tenaga selepas selamat bersalin hanya dengan makan tamar, tanpa tumbuhan herba yang lain. Ditakdirkan Allah s.w.t. dengan kelahiran Nabi Isa a.s. itu juga, Allah s.w.t. telah tumbuhkan pokok tamar jantan di sebelah pokok tamar betina.

Dan untuk tujuan mendapat hasil buah tamar yang elok ia juga harus dilakukan menerusi kaedah kahwin bunga (melakukan proses pendebungaan betina dengan debu bunga jantan).

Untuk mengenali perbezaan di antara tamar jantan dengan tamar betina, tamar jantan lebih tinggi pohonnya, berdaun keras menjulang ke langit. Pokok tamar betina rendah sedikit dan daunnya melintuk ke bawah.




Pada bulan Februari pohon tamar jantan berbunga setahun sekali sama dengan tamar betina . Bezanya bunga jantan ia mengeluarkan debu-debu halus. Pada bulan ini ketika tamar betina mengeluarkan bunga, petugas (terdiri dari mereka yang berbangsa Arab) akan memanjat pokok tamar betina dan dijalankan proses kahwin bunga, ditepuk-tepuk, disapu dua tiga ranting bunga jantan kepada setandan bunga betina yang terkembang dari tandannya.

Ternyata untuk menghasilkan buah tamar yang elok berkualiti, ia mesti 'disenyawakan' oleh tangan manusia, tidak boleh melalui binatang atau diterbangkan oleh angin. Pokok tamar tidak akan berbuah dengan sempurna jika tidak dicantum oleh tangan manusia. Buah tamar tidak akan masak jika suhu kurang dari 55 darjah Celcius. Bulan Julai adalah musim tamar masak ranum manakala bulan Ogos adalah musim menuai.

Menurut Pak Long Haji Isa, bagi sebuah kebun memadai ada beberapa batang sahaja pokok tamar jantan berbanding dengan ratusan pokok tamar betina, kerana debunga pada satu dahan pohon tamar jantan boleh digunakan untuk proses pendebungaan dengan ratusan tandan pada pokok tamar betina . Debu yang perlu digunakan pada setiap pokok terlalu sedikit. Bunga jantan ini juga boleh disimpan di tempat yang kering untuk kegunaan berulang-ulang kali selagi debunganya masih ada.

"Allah s.w.t. jadikan buah tamar cukup istimewa. Cuba perhatikan sepanjang ia berada di atas pokok tidak ada seekor binatang atau burung yang mematuk atau merosakkannya. Ini kerana buah tidak berbau. Allah s.w.t pelihara dan memuliakannya. Ia mesti disenyawakan oleh tangan manusia. Di Madinah hanya bangsa Arab sahaja yang sanggup panjat dan turun naik ke atas pokok tamar untuk lakukan kerja pencantuman ini. Bangsa lain tak mampu, tenaga tak sekuat bangsa ni." Jelas Pak Long.

Pokok Tamar ayah saudara kita....

Mula-mula kami juga bingung kenapa keunikan ini berlaku pada buah yang istimewa ini, lalu Mak Long Normah Morad, isteri Hj Isa Darus beri kami sentuh debu jantan, "Gosok pada tangan dan cium," katanya. "Masya-Allah bau air mani," kata kami tergamam. "Ya, memang bau air mani, bau ini bukan semua makhluk suka. Pokok tamar kalau mahukan buahnya elok, ia mesti disenyawakaan oleh tangan manusia, sebab pokok ini Allah s.w.t. jadikan dari lebihan tanah kejadian Nabi Adam a.s."

"Ringkasnya, dia umpama pak menakan (ayah saudara) kita. Sebab itu kita tak boleh pandang remeh padanya. Rasulullah s.a.w. dan Nabi-Nabi lain sangat sayang padanya. Sebab itu dikatakan sebaik-baik buah yang serasi dengan badan kita adalah buah tamar kerana ia sebahagian dari kita. Jadi setiap kali menjamah tamar ingat-ingatlah asal kejadiannya. Buah ini tidak berbau kerana Allah s.w.t. nak pelihara kesuciannya di samping mudah untuk kita menguruskannya dengan kelebihan cuaca yang panas kering. Penjual tak risau lalat atau semut kerana bumi barakah ini." Ujar Pak Long dengan senyum lebar.

Beauty...

Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty... they merely move it from their faces into their hearts...

Water Bridge in Germany .... What a feat!

Six years, 500 million euros, 918 meters long.......now this is engineering! This is a channel-bridge over the River Elbe and joins the former East and West Germany , as part of the unification project. It is located in the city of Magdeburg , near Berlin . The photo was taken on the day of inauguration. To those who appreciate engineering projects..... In what’s being hailed as an engineering masterpiece, two important German shipping canals have been joined by a giant kilometer-long concrete bathtub. The new waterway near the eastern town of Magdeburg opens Friday. If you want to know more go HERE...

... lawak nak tunggu berbuka ...

Berhati-hati semasa membeli kuih-muih di Bazaar Ramadhan...

Kassim bengang gile bile dia dapati cucur udang yg dibeli tak ada seekor udang pun kat dalamnya..lalu dia pun pi balik kat gerai makcik jual kuih tuh ngan panas hati tanye kat makcik yg jual tu..."Makcik pasal cucur udang ni sekor udang pun takdak??"

Makcik yg jual tu pun dgn selambe ayun nye menjawab "abih tu yg hang pi beli cuchoq badak ada tak badak kat dalamnya?? Cam ne plak ngan chucoq Kodok, Ada tak kodok yg melompat ataiihh Hang??

Moralnya...?

UDANG MASAK SERAI WANGI

Kalau rajin cubalah resepi ringkas ni... Thanks Puan Izma.

UDANG MASAK SERAI WANGI
Bahan-bahan
600 gm udang harimau - digoreng setengah masak
4 batang serai
100 gm cili kering
100 gm bawang merah
100 gm cili merah
70 gm bawang putih
70 gm halia muda
3 sudu besar pati asam jawa
30 gm belacan bakar
100 gm pati santan
Garam dan gula secukup rasa

Cara memasak:
• Kisar halus serai, cili kering, bawang merah, cili merah, bawang putih dan halia muda.
• Tumis hingga wangi dan masukkan air asam jawa dan sedikit santan cair.
• Masak atas api sederhana hingga kuah pekat
• Masukkan pati santan dan udang.
• Masak hingga naik bau.

4 PERKARA UNTUK SIHAT...

Info ni dah lama berlegar di kalangan e-mail saja aje nak letak sini nanti kalau nak rujuk senang... :)

Empat perkara menguatkan badan
1. makan daging
2. memakai haruman
3. kerap mandi
4. berpakaian dari kapas

Empat perkara melemahkan badan
1. banyak berkelamin (bersetubuh)
2. selalu cemas
3. banyak minum air ketika makan
4. banyak makan bahan yang masam

Empat perkara menajamkan mata
1. duduk mengadap kiblat
2. bercelak sebelum tidur
3. memandang yang hijau
4. berpakaian bersih

Empat perkara merosakan mata
1. memandang najis
2. melihat orang dibunuh
3. melihat kemaluan
4. membelakangi kiblat

Empat perkara menajamkan fikiran
1. tidak banyak berbual kosong
2. rajin bersugi (gosok gigi)
3. bercakap dengan orang soleh
4. bergaul dengan para ulama


4 CARA TIDUR

1. TIDUR PARA NABI
Tidur terlentang sambil berfikir tentang kejadian langit dan bumi.

2. TIDUR PARA ULAMA' & AHLI IBADAH
Mengiring ke sebelah kanan untuk memudahkan terjaga untuk solat malam.

3. TIDUR PARA RAJA YANG HALOBA
Mengiring ke sebelah kiri untuk mencernakan makanan yang banyak dimakan.

4. TIDUR SYAITAN
Menelungkup/tiarap seperti tidurnya ahli neraka.

Resepi seterusnya...

Ini ada resepi Popia Siam... Peminat popia bolehlah cuba ni... By the way thanks to Puan Izma...

POPIA SIAM




Bahan Bahan
200 gm kobis (dihiris halus)
250 gm daging cincang
6 ulas bawang merah (dihiris)
3 batang daun bawang
50 gm suhun (direndam)
2 s/besar kicap cair
2 s/besar sos ikan
gula secukup rasa
50 gm cendawan cina (dihiris)
30 keping kulit popia
2 s/besar tepung jagung
minyak untuk menggoreng
sedikit lada putih, sebiji telur

Bahan Hiasan
daun pudina, salad dan timun

Bahan Bahan Pencicah
8 biji cili merah
1/2 cawan gula halus
2 ulas bawang putih
2 s/besar sos ikan
kacang tanah (digoreng dan ditumbuk kasar)
1/4 cawan cuka

Sahur...

Malam tadi aku tak sahur... mesti dugaan hebat hari ni. Aku dah dengar bunyi jam 4.15 pagi tapi saja aje aku lengahkan sikit... tahu-tahu aku terbangun tepat 5.30 pagi... waktu imsaq tu! Macam perli akulah pulak...

English Signs in Foreign Countries

Tak tahulah betul ke tidaknya ni... :) Do not know whether these are TRUE or NOT...

In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, iF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Cocktail lounge , Norway :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctor’s office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On a poster at Kenya :
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

On an Athi River highway: this is the main road to Mombasa , leaving Nairobi .
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel , Yugoslavia :
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel , Japan :
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest :
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich :
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong :
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome :
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Printed in the Garage Gate in Sudan
NO BARKING

A New Love Story...

I will seek and find you . . .

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you .

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.


All my love,
The Flu

Now, get your mind out of the gutter and go get your flu shot!!!

Daging Goreng Pattaya

Resepi best untuk dicuba bagi yang suka makan daging...! Ihsan dari Puan Izma.

DAGING GORENG PATTAYA

Bahan-bahan
500 gm daging "Top Side" bahagian peha dihiris nipis
1 labu bawang besar dihiris nipis
4 helai daun limau purut
beberapa helai daun selasih (Thai Basil)
segenggam daun ketumbar dicincang kasar
1 batang serai dititik
2 tangkai daun bawang dihiris nipis
sedikit gula
minyak untuk menggoreng

Tumbuk
3 ulas bawang putih
10 batang cili padi
2 batang cili merah

Perasa
2 sudu besar sos ikan
1 sudu besar sos tiram

Cara-cara
• Panaskan minyak dan tumiskan serai, cili padi dan cili merah sampai wangi.
• Masukkan daging, sos tiram, sos ikan, sedikit gula dan bawang besar.
• Sebelum diangkat masukkan daun limau purut, selasih dan ketumbar.

... sekalung TAKZIAH...

Awal pagi tadi (7.50 pagi) isteri YAB PM telah pulang ke rahmatullah di kediaman rasmi PM di Putrajaya. Jenazah allahyarham akan disembahyangkan di Masjid Putrajaya selepas solat Asar sebelum di semadikan di Putrajaya... Aku mengucapkan takziah kepada Dato' Seri Abdullah sekeluarga di atas pemergian Datin Seri, semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh allahyarham, amin.

Hari ni aku lewat ke pejabat. Kepala berdenyut so aku tidur lepas Subuh sampai pukul 9.30am! Hujan pulak tu patutlah lena aje!! Agak reda juga kepala ni tapi aku masih ngantuk... tidur aku memang tak cukup. :(

THE WAY OF LOVE..

Lagu best sempena bulan puasa ni!!! :) Liriknya ada tapi nak dengar lagu kena pergi ke sini


THE WAY OF LOVE

*the Prophet's path, the way of love...
only by this Love you'll rise above...like a dove that's been set free...
love with longing is the key...this love with longing is the key....
honey, nectar, sweetness and cream...
orchids blooming by a mountain stream.....starlit skies and waves on the sand...
next to love they can't stand...next to this love they can not stand....

yaa Robii yaa sarii'ar ridho irham man...
ro'su maalihir-rojaa...
wa thina maa qod sa-alnaa bi liqoo-i...khoiril anami...
yaa khoiral a'anaami...

ulang *....

**yaa Robii yaa man-ismuhu dawa wa dzikruhu...
syifaa-un lana...robbiy faj'al mujtama'na ghoyatuhu husnul...
khitami...bihusnil khitami......
how can I find a way to express...
something that cannot be thought or guesses...something more than just words?...
this love is neither seen nor heard...this love is neither seen nor heard..
Love is the rope given by ALLAH...it will save you from every flaw...
grasp it then He wil draw you near...

ulang * dan **....

- Haddad Alwi

Kisah untuk renungan bersama...

Katakan sekarang...jangan tunggu sampai esok...

Pada suatu tempat, hiduplah seorang anak. Dia hidup dalam keluarga yang bahagia, dengan orang tua dan sanak keluarganya. Tetapi, dia selalu menganggap itu sesuatu yang wajar saja. Dia terus bermain, mengganggu adik dan kakaknya, membuat masalah bagi orang lain adalah kesukaannya.

Apabila dia menyedari akan kesalahannya dan mau minta maaf, dia selalu berkata,"Tidak apa-apa, besok kan boleh." Sesudah besar, dia amat suka ke sekolah. Dia belajar, mendapat teman, dan sangat bahagia. Tetapi, dia anggap itu wajar-wajar aja. Semua begitu saja dijalaninya sehingga dia anggap semua sudah sewajarnya. Suatu hari, dia berkelahi dengan teman baiknya. Walaupun dia tahu itu salah, tapi tidak pernah mengambil inisiatif untuk minta maaf dan berbaik dengan teman baiknya. Alasannya, "Tidak apa-apa, besok kan boleh."

Ketika meningkat remaja, teman baiknya tadi bukanlah temannya lagi. Walaupun dia sering melihat temannya itu, tapi mereka tidak pernah saling tegur. Baginya itu bukanlah masalah, kerana dia masih punyai ramai teman baik yang lain. Dia dan teman-temannya melakukan segala sesuatu bersama-sama, main, jalan-jalan dan macam2 lagi. Ya, mereka semua teman-temannya yang paling baik.

Setelah lulus, kerja membuatkannya menjadi sibuk. Dia bertemu seorang gadis yang sangat cantik dan baik. Gadis itu kemudian menjadi teman wanitanya. Dia begitu sibuk dengan kerjanya, kerana dia ingin di naikkan pangkat ke posisi paling tinggi dalam waktu yang sesingkat mungkin.

Tentu, dia rindu untuk bertemu teman-temannya. Tapi dia tidak pernah lagi menghubungi mereka, bahkan selalu lewat menelefon mereka. Dia selalu berkata, "Ah, aku penat, besok saja aku hubungi mereka." Ini tidak terlalu mengganggu dia kerana dia punyai teman-teman sekerja selalu mau apabila diajak keluar.

Jadi, waktu pun berlalu, dia lupa sama sekali untuk menelefon teman-temannya. Setelah dia berkahwin dan mempunyai anak, dia bekerja lebih kuat untuk memberi kebahagiaan pada keluarganya. Dia tidak pernah lagi membeli bunga untuk isterinya, atau pun mengingati hari lahir isterinya dan juga hari perkahwinan mereka. Itu tidak mendatangkan masalah baginya, kerana isterinya selalu mengerti, dan tidak pernah menyalahkannya.

Kadang-kadang dia merasa bersalah dan ingin punyai kesempatan untuk mengatakan pada isterinya "Aku cinta pada mu", tapi dia tidak pernah melakukannya. Alasannya, "Tidak apa-apa, saya pasti besok saya akan mengatakannya."

Dia tidak pernah bersama di majlis harijadi anak-anaknya, tapi dia tidak tahu ini akan mempengaruhi anak-anaknya. Anak-anak mulai menjauhkan diri darinya, dan tidak pernah menghabiskan waktu mereka bersama dengan ayahnya.

Suatu hari, isterinya ditimpa kemalangan, isterinya dilanggar lari. Ketika kejadian itu, dia sedang ada mesyuarat. Kemalangan itu adalah serius dan dia tidak sedar bahawa kemalangan itu bakal menjemput isterinya menemui yang Maha Mencipta. Belum sempat dia berkata "Aku cinta pada mu", isterinya telah meninggal dunia. Remuk hatinya apabila ini berlaku dan dia cuba menghiburkan diri bersama anak-anaknya setelah kematian isterinya.

Tapi, dia baru sedar bahawa anak-anaknya tidak mahu berkomunikasi dengannya. Apabila anak-anaknya dewasa dan membina keluarga masing-masing. Tidak ada yang peduli pada orang tua ini, yang di masa lalunya tidak pernah meluangkan waktunya untuk mereka.

Masa berjalan begitu pantas, orang tua ini tinggal di rumah jagaan yang terbaik, yang menyediakan layanan sangat baik. Dia menggunakan wang yang disimpannya dari mula untuk perayaan ulang tahun perkahwinan ke 50, 60, dan 70. Pada asal tujuan wang itu adalah untuk digunakan pergi bercuti ke Hawaii, New Zealand, dan negara-negara lain bersama isterinya, tapi kini terpaksa digunakan untuk membayar biaya tinggal di rumah jagaan tersebut.

Sejak dari itu sehinggalah dia meninggal, hanya ada orang-orang tua dan penjaga yang merawatnya. Dia merasa sangat kesepian, perasaan yang tidak pernah dia rasakan sebelumnya.

Semasa dia hendak meninggal, dia memanggil seorang penjaga dan berkata kepadanya, "Ah, jika aku menyedari perkara ini dari dulu...." Kemudian perlahan ia menghembuskan nafas terakhir. Dia meninggal dunia dengan airmata dipipinya.

Apa yang saya ingin katakan pada kawan-kawan dan juga pada diri saya sendiri, waktu itu tidak pernah berhenti. Anda terus maju dan maju, sebelum benar-benar menyedari, anda ternyata telah maju terlalu jauh.

Jika anda pernah bertengkar, segera berbaik antara satu sama lain!

Jika anda merasa ingin mendengar suara teman anda, jangan ragu-ragu untuk menelefonnya segera.

Akhir sekali, tapi yang paling penting, jika anda merasa ingin mengatakan pada seseorang bahawa anda sangat sayang pada dia, jangan tunggu sampai terlewat. Jika anda terus berfikir bahawa masih ada lain hari baru anda akan memberitahu dia, hari ini tidak pernah akan datang.

Jika anda selalu pikir bahawa besok akan datang, maka "besok" akan pergi begitu cepat hingga anda baru sedar bahawa waktu telah meninggalkan anda.

Email kisah ini kepada sahabat-sahabat anda..... Atau.... anda masih mahu menunggu adanya hari esok......?

"When the Loves Come With Hard Feelings, It Will Spread The Tears Through Out It's Meanings"

PEDOMAN DAN IKTIBAR UNTUK GENERASI BARU

Sedutan dari e-mail kengkawan untuk kebaikan bersama bagi yang masih belum membacanya :)

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan menyingkap tabir rahsia. Isteri yang kamu nikahi tidaklah semulia Khadijah, tidaklah setaqwa Aisyah, pun tidak lah setabah Fatimah. Justeru isterimu hanyalah wanita akhir zaman yang punya cita- cita menjadi solehah....

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan mengajar kita kewajiban bersama.
Isteri menjadi tanah kamu langit penaungnya.
Isteri ladang tanaman kamu pemagarnya.
Isteri kiasan ternakan kamu gembalanya.
Isteri adalah murid kamu mursyidnya.
Isteri bagaikan anak kecil kamu tempat bermanjanya.
Saat isteri menjadi madu kamu teguklah sepuasnya.
Seketika isteri menjadi racun kamulah penawar bisanya.
Seandainya isteri tulang yang bengkok berhatilah meluruskannya.
Pernikahan atau perkahwinan menginsafkan kita perlunya iman dan taqwa.
Untuk belajar meniti sabar dan redha Allah s.w.t. kerana memiliki isteri yang tak sehebat mana.
Justeru kamu akan tersentak dari alpa.

Kamu bukanlah Rasulullah s.a.w.
Pun bukanlah Sayyidina Ali Karamallahhuwajhah.
Cuma suami akhir zaman yang berusaha menjadi soleh... amin!

Untuk isteri.... renungkanlah....
Pernikahan atau perkahwinan membuka tabir rahsia?
Suami yang menikahi kamu tidaklah semulia Muhammad saw.
Tidaklah setaqwa Ibrahim.
Pun tidak setabah Ayyub
Atau pun segagah Musa . apalagi setampan Yusuf.
Justeru suamimu hanyalah lelaki akhir zaman yang punya
Cita-cita membangunkan keturunan yang soleh.
Pernikahan atau perkahwinan mengajar kita kewajiban bersama
Suami menjadi pelindung kamu penghuninya.
Suami adalah nahkoda kapal kamu pengemudinya.
Suami bagaikan pelakon yang nakal kamu adalah penonton kenakalannya.
Saat suami menjadi raja kamu nikmati anggur singgahsananya.
Seketika suami menjadi bisa kamulah penawar ubatnya.
Seandainya suami bengis lagi lancang sabarlah memperingatkannya.
Pernikahan ataupun perkahwinan mengajarkan kita perlunya iman dan taqwa.

Untuk belajar meniti sabar dan redha Allah s.w.t.
Kerana memiliki suami yang tak segagah mana.
Justeru kamu akan tersentak dari alpa.

Kamu bukanlah Khadijah yang begitu sempurna dalam menjaga.
Pun bukanlah Hajar yang begitu setia dalam sengsara .
Cuma wanita akhir zaman yang berusaha menjadi solehah... amin!

Justeru itu wahai para suami dan isteri, jangan menuntut terlalu tinggi seandainya diri sendiri jelas tidak berupaya.
Mengapa mendambakan isteri sehebat Khadijah andai diri tidak semulia Rasulullah?
Mengapa mengharapkan suami setampan Yusof seandainya kasih tak setulus Zulaikha?
Tidak perlu mencari isteri secantik Balqis andai diri tidak sehebat Sulaiman; dan
Tidak perlu mencari suami seteguh Ibrahim andai diri tidak sekuat Hajar dan Sarah.

... 2 resepi best untuk dicuba...

Resepi ni dihantar oleh Puan Izma... :) Sesiapa yang rajin tu bolehlah mencuba KETAM MASAM MANIS dan MASAK LEMAK REBONG BERSAMA UDANG.


KETAM MASAM MANIS



Bahan-Bahan
4 ekor ketam bunga
3 s/besar minyak masak
2 ulas bawang putih (ditumbuk)
5 cm halia muda (dihiris)
2 s/besar sos cili
1 s/kecil cili padi
sedikit air
1 s/kecil garam/secukup rasa
2 s/besar gula/secukup rasa
1/2 cawan nenas (dipotong dadu)
2 biji tomato (dipotong dadu)
1 biji telur
1 biji lada benggala hijau
3 helai daun bawang
segenggam daun ketumbar (dihiris nipis)
sedikit jus limau nipis
sedikit minyak bijan
sedikit mentega

Cara Menyediakannya

1. Masukkan sedikit garam dan gula ke atas ketam.

2. Pukul telur. Masukkan ke dalam mangkuk yang berisi ketam.
Gaulkan.

3. Goreng ketam dengan minyak yang panas.

4. Tumiskan halia, lada benggala hijau, bawang putih. Masukkan
nenas, tomato dan cili api. Masukkan ketam yang telah digoreng,
stok ayam dan sedikit air, sos cili, daun bawang, dan daun
ketumbar, setitik dua minyak bijan, dan sedikit mentega.
Kemudian perah asam limau.



MASAK LEMAK REBONG BERSAMA UDANG




Bahan-Bahan
500 gm udang segar
600 gm rebong
5 biji cili merah }
6 ulas bawang merah }
3 ulas bawang putih } dikisar halus
150 gm udang kering }
1 biji kelapa (diambil santan)
sedikit daun selasih, gula dan garam

Cara Menyediakannya

1. Masukkan santan. Campurkan bahan-bahan yang telah dikisar.

2. Masukkan rebong, udang dan sedikit air.

3. Masak sehingga rebong lembut sedikit, kemudian masukkan
sedikit daun selasih, gula dan garam.

SELAMAT MENCUBA...

Arrggghhhh!!! Stomache and mild headache...

Today I feel uneasy since early morning due to my headache... it's mild but irritating! Yesterday was also my tough day of fasting… my stomach… but I refuse to lose and won happily at last. This is how not to compromise with your lust…  :(

Don't be angry please...

Do You Know Your Anger Management Style?

There are 3 basic styles of anger management: The suppressor, the venter, and the manager or director. Although parents will find that they use each style in their everyday life, they will find that one of these styles are more dominate than the others. The source of these styles is a mix of environment and genetics. Certain temperament types are more likely to demonstrate one or more of these styles than others. And the culture, family, and society also play a role. But the most important factor in determining how a parent came to use one style or another in their most intimate relationships, namely with their children, is through learning. All of the styles of anger management are learned styles. And, if they were learned, they can be unlearned or relearned. What this implies is that parents are not stuck with their particular style of anger management but can learn to better manage or direct their anger.

The suppressor style sits on or suppresses anger. Parents with this style of anger management have learned that anger is all bad, therefore it must be eliminated. But anger is a God-given, natural emotion that cannot be eliminated. Consequently, parents bottle up their anger until it reaches the boiling point and they explode over the smallest, insignificant situation. Parents with this style tend to deny feeling or expressions of anger in their life. They are worried about what others might think or say if they were to express their anger. Their trigger thoughts include needing others to always approve of them or see them in positive light. They might also have grown up in a family with a venting parent. As a result, they might have learned to suppress their anger for fear of retaliation or made a personal vow never to be like their parent.

The ventor style is at the opposite end of the anger management continuim. Unlike the suppressor, this person freely and uncontrollably expresses their anger. They take no prisoners and have no mercy in the heat of the moment. Anyone and everyone can be a target for their verbal or physical expressions of anger. They often describe themselves as feeling "flooded" or under the control of their emotions which results in them acting out-of-control. They usually feel quilty and remorseful for their expressions of anger after the fact and may make promises to change. These people have learned that anger is a quick and effective way to control others or get what they want. Young children learn that temper tantrums will get them the candy or toy they desire and adults find out that anger outburst will get cooperation from children, however temporary the cooperation might be. The need for power and control are usually at the center of their thoughts. Inversely, they are often very insecure and feel powerless in their life unless they are venting at others. Ventors suffer interpersonally. As other avoid their outburst, they become isolated and alone. This too may result in more venting.

The last style is the manager or director style of anger management. The parent with this style of anger is aware of his anger but uses it in a constructive manner. He does not bottle it up like the suppressor or freely blast it like the ventor. Instead the manager will acknowledge their emotion and use the energy to create a change in their situation or relationship. For example, a parent might state: "I am very angry that the toys have not been picked up." The manager or director communicates in an assertive manner by stating what they want and not what they don't want. They might tell their child: "I want you to pick up all of these toys or I will have to put them away for a while." They do not blame or shame a child to gain their cooperation. While this might work in the short-term it usually fails to produce lasting cooperation. Instead it breeds resentment and revenge. Manager or directors do not follow the myths of anger management ("If you get it out it will go away" and "All anger is bad"). And most importantly, managers and directors detect, dispute, and discriminate any irrational thoughts that might trigger their anger. They are aware of what pushes their buttons and are able, with practice, to disconnect this faulty learning.

Article By:-
Ron Huxley, LMFT

Resepi Berbuka Puasa Bagi Yang Bujang Kalau Nak Cuba!

Daripada merayap-rayap di hujung minggu bulan puasa ni baiklah cuba bakat memasak dua resepi mudah tapi sedap ni... :) Resepi ini adalah ihsan dari Puan Izma; thanks mem! :)


SUP EKOR

Bahan-Bahan

8 ketul ekor lembu

7 bahan di bawah ni hendaklah dikisar bersama:-
3 ulas bawang besar }
10 ulas bawang merah }
6 ulas bawang putih }
4 batang serai } dikisar
3 cm halia }
2 cm lengkuas }
8 biji buah keras }

3 s/besar serbuk ketumbar
2 s/besar serbuk lada putih
2 s/besar serbuk jintan manis
1 s/besar serbuk jintan kasar
2 batang sayur saderi (dipotong kecil)
1 batang lobak merah (dipotong besar)
2 biji kentang (dipotong)
3 biji tomato (dipotong)
sedikit daun bawang (dihiris)
sedikit daun ketumbar (dihiris)
bahan rempah ratus (kulit kayu manis, bunga lawang, bunga cengkih dan buah pelaga)
1/2 cawan minyak sayuran
air secukupnya(untuk sup)
garam dan lada hitam secukup rasa
2 s/besar tepung
sedikit gula

Bahan Hiasan daun bawang (dihiris nipis) sedikit bawang goreng

Cara Menyediakannya

1. Panaskan minyak sayuran di dalam periuk tekanan tinggi, perapkan ketulan ekor lembu bersama garam secukup rasa, lada sulah dan tepung. Apabila minyak sayuran telah panas, masukkan dan tumis / goreng bahan yang diperap tadi ke dalam periuk tekanan tinggi.

2. Masukkan satu persatu kesemua bahan rempah ratus dan goreng perlahan-lahan sehingga wangi tanpa menghanguskannya.

3. Masukkan pula satu persatu kesemua sayur-sayuran serta daun ketumbar, tambahkan air secukupnya ke dalam periuk untuk merebus ketulan ekor lembu, teruskan merebus sehingga penunjuk aras tekanan meningkat ke aras dua.

4. Di peringkat ini, perlahankan api dan biarkan ia mereneh selama lebih kurang 30 minit lagi, setelah itu padamkan api, biarkan tekanan menurun dengan membiarkan periuk menyejuk sendiri selama 10 minit sebelum membukanya.

5. Panas dan renehkan semula sup tersebut, tambahkan bahan rempah ratus dan garam serta lada sulah secukup rasa sebelum menyajikannya samada dengan lontong , mi ataupun Makaroni goreng, jika suka taburkan di atasnya hirisan daun bawang atau bawang goreng.


LAKSA JOHOR



Bahan Utama
1 kg ikan kembung (direbus dan diambil isinya)

Bahan A
8 bahan di bawah adalah untuk dikisar bersama:-
20 tangkai cili kering (dicelur) }
10 ulas bawang merah }
4 ulas bawang putih }
3 batang serai } dikisar
sedikit lada hitam }
3 cm lengkuas }
3 s/besar udang kering }
500 gm udang basah }

sedikit daun kesom
sedikit daun kemangi

Bahan B
3 s/besar gula melaka
1/4 cawan air asam jawa
1 peket spaghetti (direbus)
2 biji kelapa parut (diambil santan)
1/2 biji kelapa parut (dibuat kerisik)
garam secukup rasa
sedikit daun kesom
sedikit jus limau kasturi
sedikit sambal belacan
sedikit air rebusan udang

Cara Menyediakannya
1. Panaskan minyak di kuali kemudian tumiskan bahan yang dikisar sehingga wangi.

2. Masukkan kerisik, gula melaka, air asam jawa, garam, daun kesom, jus limau kasturi, sambal belacan, air rebusan udang dan santan ke dalam periuk tadi.

3. Didihkan.

4. Sajikan bersama bahan-bahan hiasan seperti timun, limau kasturi dan sambal belacan.

SELAMAT MENCUBA....

Cukupkah Apa Yang Kita Dapat?

Di sini ada petikan e-mail yang aku terima yang boleh kita kongsi bersama mesejnya...

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah...

Segala puji bagi Allah, Tuhan sekalian alam. Sesungguhnya aku bersaksi bahawa tiada Tuhan melainkan Allah yang Esa, tiada sekutu bagiNya dan sesungguhnya aku bersaksi bahawa Nabi Muhammad itu hamba dan rasulNya. Selawat berserta salam buat Nabi Junjungan Muhammad SAW yang mempunyai keperibadian mulia & diutuskan sebagai ikutan. Juga buat sekalian muslimin& orang2 yang beramal soleh...

Minggu lepas saya sempat tonton sebahagian dari sebuah filem yang disiarkan di channel Vision Four. Tajuknya Interstate 60. Pelakon utamanya saya tak kenal tapi pelakon tambahannya ramai yang top2. Salah satu babak yang saya ingat sangat, ialah di awal cerita yang membabitkan pelakon terkenal, Micheal J. Fox. Dalam babak tu, Micheal kelihatan seperti seorang businessman yang sibuk.

Ketika itu dia sedang bercakap-cakap di handphonenya di dalam kereta. Dibelakangnya ada seorang lelaki sedang mengayuh basikal sambil menghisap pipe. Tiba2 Micheal buka pintu keretanya dan akibatnya lelaki tersebut terlanggar pintu tersebut dan tergolek. Tengah tergocoh2 & sibuk mintak maaf tuh, handphone Micheal terlepas dari tangan. Sampai je ke atas jalan, datang satu trailer lenyek handphone. Apa lagi, menyumpah seranah la dia.

Yela... Sebagai businessman, tentu handphone tu alat penting untuknya. Dalam keadaan marah, terkeluar dari mulut Micheal (lebih kurang la...) "Saya harap ini tak pernah terjadi". Rupa2nya lelaki yang bawa basikal tadi ada kuasa magic. Dia mampu ulang balik masa dan mereka kembali ke satu keadaan di mana Micheal masih dalam kereta dan lelaki tadi masih menunggang basikalnya.

Bila tiba hampir ke kereta Micheal, dia berhenti. Tiba2 Micheal keluar dari kereta. Kali ni lelaki tadi tak melanggar pintunya seperti sebelum ini. Jadi Micheal terus rancak berbual hinggalah tiba2 datang trailer dan melanggar Micheal J. Fox. Lelaki tadi, yang berada di belakang kereta Micheal & memerhatikan segalanya, bekata "Some people just don't know what to wish for" (Sesetengah orang tak tahu apa yang patut diminta).

Apa kesudahan filem ini saya tak tahu sebab saya tak menontonnya hingga selesai. Tapi saya cukup tertarik dengan perkataan lelaki yang berbasikal tu. Sesetengah orang tak tahu apa yang patut mereka minta. Bukankah hampir kita semua begitu? Dalam filem tadi, Micheal mengharapkan kemalangan tu (basikal langgar pintu keretanya) tak berlaku supaya handphonenya terselamat. Tapi tanpa kemalangan itu, dia pula yang maut. Perasan tak?

Ini satu telefilem fiksyen. Rekaan semata. Tapi perkara ni sebenarnya berlaku dalam kehidupan harian kita. Seringkali kita meminta perkara yang macam2 seolah2 itulah yang terbaik untuk kita. Persoalannya, tahukah kita apa yang terbaik untuk kita? Kalau kita dilahirkan miskin, kita sering berdoa untuk menjadi kaya. Hendak mengubah kehidupan, kita kata. Tapi kita pastikah kekayaan itu yang terbaik untuk kita?

Atau kita dilahirkan pendek, atau terlalu tinggi, atau hitam atau berpenyakit. Tentunya kita mengharap2kan keajaiban untuk menjadi manusia yang sempurna atau sekurang2nya 'just nice'. Mungkin juga kita terbabit dalam kemalangan yang mengorbankan orang yang tersayang. Pasti tercalit dalam hati keinginan untuk mengembalikan masa itu supaya kemalangan itu dapat dielakkan dan nyawa orang kesayangan kita juga selamat. Kan?

Persoalannya, adakah apa yang kita perolehi sekarang ini bukan yang terbaik? Adakah Allah itu zalim atau pilih kasih dengan memberi sesetengah orang nikmat manakala setengah lagih azab? Bukankah Allah itu Maha Adil?

Bukankah Allah itu Maha Mengetahui? Bukankah Allah itu Maha Bijaksana? Jika begitu, mengapakah ada sesetengah dari kita yang bernasib malang manakala sesetengah yang lain bernasib baik sepanjang hidup mereka?

Sebenarnya, kita adalah apa yang kita minta (we are what we wish for).Kadangkala tatkala kita berdoa, kita sendiri kurang faham dengan apa yang kita minta. Ada orang berdoa minta selamat. Akan tetapi Allah berikan dia dari sihat jatuh sakit. Dari kaya jatuh miskin. Dari jelita jadi huduh. Bagaimana itu? Itu hanyalah sebagai ujian kesabarannya. Seandainya imannya tetap kuat, insyaAllah dia akan selamat di akhirat kelak.

Selamat juga, bukan? Adakah Allah menolak permintaannya? Tidak! Bahkan Allah meletakkannya ke tempat yang lebih tinggi. Begitu juga dengan keadaan saya baru2 ini. Hidup dikelilingi hutang lapuk. Pening kepala nak bayar. Interest makin meningkat. Ibu mana yang tak kasihan lihat anaknya susah hati? Satu hari tu ibu saya beritahu saya yang dia tiap2 hari berdoa minta saya dapat banyak duit. Dia simpati dengan saya katanya.

Saya katakan kepadanya. Kalau banyak duit, tiap2 bulan saya dapat, Alhamdulillah. Saya katakan padanya kalau mahu berdoa untuk saya, berdoalah semoga hutang lapuk saya selesai. Saya beritahunya ketika sebelum Zuhur. Zuhur tu juga dia telah tukar doanya dan Alhamdulillah, petang itu juga saya nampak jalan penyelesaiannya. Doa ibu itu berkat. Sekarang, Alhamdulillah ringan rasanya beban di kepala saya. Maha Suci Allah...

Apabila Allah menentukan sesuatu ke atas kita, percayalah itu adalah yang terbaik. Hanya mata kita yang diseliputi dengan nafsu yang tidak dapat melihat kebaikan yang ada pada sesuatu kejadian. Mengapa sukar bagi kita untuk redha kepada kejadian Allah? 'Grass is always greener on the other side'. Kan? Kita sentiasa melihat apa yang ada pada orang lain itu lebih baik dari apa yang kita miliki.

Sedang Nabi saw telah menasihatkan agar kita melihat orang yang di bawah. Jangan melihat orang lebih tinggi kerana intu akan membuat kita tidak bersyukur. Dan itulah masalahnya pada diri kita. Kita sentiasa mengejar peluang yang lebih baik. Sentiasa mahukan yang lebih banyak. Saya sendiri mengalami perkara ini. Dan saya percaya ramai yang turut mengalaminya. Siapa yang taknak gaji besar, kan?

Masa saya grad, ekonomi negara benar2 sedang menjunam. Saya ke hulu ke hilir mencari kerja. Akhirnya saya bekerja sebagai operator di kilang metal stamping. Gaji RM400 sebulan. Tiada OT. Tolak itu, tolak ini, dapatlah RM350. Hm... Cukup? Dah tentu tidak. Ketika itu saya hanya memiliki sebuah motor Yamaha 110SS hadiah ayah sempena dia dapat EPF. Isi minyak dengan makan dah habis. Ketika itu saya fikir, dapat gaji RM750 pun jadilah.

Kemudian saya bekerja sebagai Lab Technician. Betul2 saya dapat RM750. Cukup? Tak juga. Masa tu saya mula terfikir. Dapat gaji RM1500 pun dah cukup. Allah tunaikan lagi. Bekerja pula di petrochemical plant. Sebagai trainee, dapat la RM1500 sebulan. Ya Allah... tak cukup juga. Sebab masa tu saya dah beli kereta Iswara. Saya fikir, dapat RM2500 cukup la. Tapi bila dapat banyak tu, saya tukar kereta pula. Kesimpulannya tak cukup juga!

Memang takkan cukup. Nafsu itu adalah benda yang paling besar! Sekarang, ketika kawan2 saya berlumba masuk syarikat lain yang offer gaji 2 - 3 kali ganda, saya tetap di sini. Kalau ada yang bertanya kenapa saya tak ikut mereka, senang saya katakan. Saya selesa di sini. Kalau solat saya panjang, bos tak pernah marah. Sedang rakan2 saya di syarikat baru dibenarkan solat hanya dalam masa 5 minit sahaja.

Kini saya dah pandai mengatakan cukup. Cukuplah sebanyak ini yang Allah beri. Sekiranya diberi lebih, Alhamdulillah. Sekiranya semakin kurang, semoga Allah perkuatkan iman saya menghadapi dugaan mendatang. Yang penting bagi saya, apa yang saya perolehi ini halal dan diberkati. Pesan Nabi saw kepada Saiyidina Ali ra supaya jangan mengira2 rezeki untuk hari esok kerana Allah menurunkan rezeki pada tiap2 hari. Ini benar2 terkesan dalamhati saya.

Tapi bukan bererti kita tak boleh mengejar yang lebih baik. Kejarlah dunia seperti akan hidup 1000 tahun lagi. Tapi dunia itu ibarat bayang2.

Makin dikejar makin ia lari. Kejarlah akhirat seperti akan mati esok hari. Kerana akhirat itu umpama matahari. Makin kita kejar akhirat (matahari), dunia (bayang2) akan mengejar kita. Rezeki itu hak Allah maka bermohonlah kepadaYang Memiliki rezeki itu. Kerana tiada rezeki untuk kita tanpa ada izin dariNya.

Terjadi kepada kenalan saya. Dengan gaji RM1000 sebulan, nak bayar ansuran rumah, nak isi minyak motor yang makin naik, duit lampin anak, duit makan, tinggal pula di JB, memang tak cukup. Sering dia mengeluh. Di tempat kerjanya pula dah lama hadkan OT. Kesian dia. Selalu dia cakap dia nak cari kerja lain. Dah banyak dia apply tapi tak dapat2 sebab tiada kelulusan dan umur pun dah makin lanjut.

Atau setidak2nya dapat banyak OT. Saya katakan padanya, besar periuk besarlah kerak. Sekarang dia pakai motor. Kalau gaji besar lagi, mungkin

dia pakai kereta. Besar mana pun tetap tak cukup. Tapi... Masuk telinga kiri keluar telinga kanan. Akhirnya Allah tunaikan permintaannya. Tiba2 dia dapat banyak sangat OT. Hari2 balik rumah sampai tengah malam. Langsung takrehat. Main dengan anak pun 2 -3 minit masa pagi sebelum ke tempat kerja.

Bila jumpa, dia cakap dah penat. Tak larat nak OT. Saya ketawakan dia. Bukankah ini yang dia minta? Ya, katanya. Tapi dia dah tak larat. Hari Ahad je dia dapat rehat. Bila nak main2 dengan anak? Kesian anaknya. Ke masjid pun hari Jumaat saja sekarang ni... Saya katakan padanya, kita tak boleh dapat segala2nya. Dia nak duit, Allah bagi duit. Tapi dia hilang kehidupan dan masa dengan anaknya. Itu adalah permintaannya. Bersyukurlah Allah telah menunaikan...

Kalau nak dikongsi, terlalu banyak rasanya apa yang saya lalui. Saya pasti, saudara2 semua juga ada lalui perkara yang sama. Di sini, bukan niat saya nak mengajar. Bukan juga nak menunjuk pandai. Saya hanya mengajak saudara2 sekalian terutamanya diri saya sendiri untuk berfikir. Apa yang kita buru? Apa yang kita cari? Apa yang kita dapat? Berapa kali pernah kita bersyukur dan berapa kali pernah kita katakan cukup?

Cukup atau tidak apa yang kita ada, bergantung kepada cukup atau tidak kita bersyukur ke hadrat Allah. Juga bergantung cukup atau tidak kita tambat nafsu kita. Yang penting tiap kali selepas solat, berdoalah pohonkan Allah berikan yang terbaik buat kita. Nabi saw pernah memberitahu, orang yang tidak berdoa selepas solat adalah orang yang sombong. Dalam hadith yang lain, Baginda saw berkata orang yang sombong adalah syirik kerana hanya Allah yang layak untuk bersifat sombong. Wallahu'alam...

Ya Allah! Ampunkanlah kami ya Allah. Selama ini kami leka. Selama ini kami lalai dalam mengejar nikmat dunia hingga kami lupa janji nikmat syurga Mu. Cukupkanlah kami dengan apa yang Kau beri. Dan jadikanlah kami insan yang tahu bersyukur. Amin... Ya Rabbal 'Alamin...

Akhir kata, berlajarlah untuk berkata cukup.....

Sekian buat kali ini. Segala yang baik datang dari Allah dan yang buruk adalah akibat kebodohan saya sendiri. Wabillahitaufiq walhidayah,

Wassalamualaikum warahmatullah

Note *Belajarlah mensyukuri nikmat Allah S. W. T...*


Yes... that's it.