Expensive glittering lips...

Nama Syaitan Dalam Al-Fatihah

Assalamualaikum...

Semoga boleh dimanfaatkan Al-Fatihah adalah satu rukun dalam solat, apabila cacat bacaannya maka rosaklah solat. Oleh itu perbaikilah bacaannya dengan ilmu tajwid. Bukan setakat bacaannya saja rosak malah kita menyebut nama syaitan di dalam solat kita. Berikut diperturunkan nama syaitan laknat yang wujud didalam Al-Fatihah, sekiranya kita tidak berhati-hati.

Nama syaitan

1. DU LI LAH (bila dibaca tiada sabdu)sepatutnya DULILLAH

2. HIR ROB (bila dibaca dengan sabdu)sepatutnya HI ROB

3. KIYYAU (bila dibaca dengan sabdu)sepatutnya KI YAU

4. KANNAK (bila dibaca dengan sabdu)sepatutnya KA NAK

5. KANNAS (bila dibaca dengan sabdu)sepatutnya KA NAS

6) IYA (disebut tanpa sabdu) sepatutnya IYYA. Iya bermaksud 'matahari'

Dalam ayat ke 5, jika salah bacaannya akan bermaksud "kepada mataharilah yang kami sembah dan kepada matahari kami meminta pertolongan"!!!!

7) SIROTHOLLAZI............. sehingga habis hendaklah dibaca tanpa henti.

8) AMIN .hendaklah mengaminkan Al-Fatihah dengan betul iaitu AA...dua harakat, MIN.... 3 harakat, semoga Amin kita bersamaan dengan Amin malaikat Insya-Allah. semoga kita menjadi orang yang sentiasa membaiki bacaannya.

40 Dalil Lelaki tidak layak di gelar "suami"...

Terjumpa dalam email lama... tergerak pulak nak letak kat ini... bacalah kalau masih belum baca! ;)

Bagi saya perkahwinan sebenarnya lebih menguntungkan lelaki kerana mereka dapat buktikan kejantanan kepada kawan2 apabila isteri hamil, dapat pengurus tetap menjaga kain baju mereka, dapat tukang masak percuma, dapat joli lebih sebab isteri juga bekerja dan bantu sara keluarga serta dapat seks halal. Isteri dapat apa? Tugas bertambah dan silap haribulan berendam airmata...

40 Dalil Lelaki tidak layak di gelar "suami"...

1. Sepanjang pertunangan, dia tidak pernah ajak berbincang cara nak bentuk keluarga solehah. Tetapi, asyik fikir mana nak bulan madu. Nak buat teknik macam2. Saya putuskan pertunangan kerana merasakan dia tidak boleh bimbing saya soal agama.

2. Malam pertama saya berendam airmata kerana suami melarikan diri selepas akad nikah. Dia bergaduh dengan ibubapa saya kerana soal wang hantaran dan mas kahwin. Malam itu, dia keluar kononnya nak pergi beli rokok, tetapi sampai subuh tak pulang. Kami bercerai 3 bulan kemudian.

3. Selepas 3 bulan nikah baru saya berpeluang ikut suami yang bertugas di Sabah. Saya hairan tengok rumahnya nampak kemas dan berhias cantik. Apabila saya gelidah satu almari di bilik tetamu, penuh baju perempuan. Puas ditanya baru dia mengaku selama ini dia duduk serumah dengan kekasihnya. Saya lari balik Semenanjung. Dia tidak pujuk. Lepas pantang saya terima surat cerai. Dia tidak pernah tahu macam mana rupa anaknya.

4. Beli cincin pertunangan duit saya, belanja hantaran pun duit saya.Sekarang duit ansuran rumah, kereta, susu anak, belanja dapur semua di bahu saya. Dia cuma beri "benih" sahaja.

5. Suami mahu anak ramai dan tidak benarkan saya makan pil. Tetapi, belum pernah sekali pun dia mahu bangun malam buat susu anak/tukar lampin. Kalau alasan penat di pejabat, saya pun bekerja juga.

6. Bapa tak pernah mengajar saya sembahyang dan puasa. Suami pun sama juga. Terpulanglah kepada saya nak dalami ilmu agama sendiri.

7. Ramai menuduh saya jahat apabila bercerai dahulu. Bekas suami memang nampak warak, tetapi siapa pun tidak tahu saya merana kerana suami mahu seks tiap2 malam dan suka liwat saya.

9. Suami tetap 'mahu' walaupun ketika saya datang bulan. Jika tidak dituruti dia mengancam mahu cari perempuan lain.

10. Saya dipukul suami ketika mengandung anak kedua dahulu kerana saya tidak mahu beri dia duit yang saya kumpul untuk belanja bersalin. Dia penganggur dan gila main muzik sahaja. Duit tu dia nak beli gitar.

11. Bekas suami saya dahulu memang kacak, kaya dan berkedudukan. Namun, saya lebih rela bercerai kerana dia ketagih hubungan seks sesama jenis.

12. Saya rasa benar-benar terhina kerana suami mengabaikan keluarga apabila asyik bercinta dengan "maknyah".

13. Hancur hati saya apabila terserempak suami memakai coli dan seluar dalam saya. Rupa2nya dahulu dia "maknyah" dan berkahwin dengan saya kerana menuruti kehendak emaknya.

14. Suami tidak pernah azan atau qamatkan kedua-dua anak kami sebaik sahaja dilahirkan dahulu.

15. Suami tidak mengaku anak lelaki bongsu zuriatnya, walaupun muka si anak 99.9% muka dia. Semua kerana suami cemburu sangat pada bos saya. Biarlah dia terus menfitnah saya kalau itu memberi kepuasan kepadanya.

16. Saya dah tak larat menasihati suami supaya sembahyang. Bulan puasa dia suruh saya masak macam biasa. Anak2 keliru melihat gelagat bapa mereka. Saya didik lain, si bapa tunjuk "contoh" lain.

17. Apabila marah, suami suka mengungkit setiap sen yang dibelanja untuk saya, sampaikan tambang haji saya ke Makkah yang dia bayarkan 3 tahun dahulu masih terus diungkit setiapkali bergaduh.

18. Suami tetap mahu saya masak macam biasa, hubungan seks 2-3 x seminggu dan rumah tidak boleh bersepah... walaupun saya sedang sarat mengandung.

19. Setiap kali mengandung, pandai2lah saya berjimat cermat untuk belanja bersalin. Apabila dah sampai waktu nak beranak, kemas kain baju sendiri, tahan teksi, pergi hospital sendiri. Jika nasib baik, suami jemput, kalau tidak pandai2lah saya balik rumah dengan anak.

20. Memang saya bengkak kerana suami sanggup memaki hamun saya depan anak kerana tidak memandu berhati2 sehingga kemalangan dan merosakkan kereta kesayangannya.

21. Siapa tidak sayang emak. Tetapi, saya tidak boleh tahan kalau suami sanggup bergolok-bergadai semata2 mahu penuhi hajat emaknya yang berselera besar. Duit gajinya tak pernah cukup sebab bayar hutang kad. Terpaksalah saya menyara anak2.

22. Kalau anak nak minta duit beli buku sekolah, suami asyik kata 'takde duit'. Kalau nak beli joran dan umpan, ada pula. Saya perhatikan saja gelagat. Nak tengok sampai setakat mana 'lemaknya'.

23. Suami gila beli nombor ekor. Biasanya, dia suka tulis angka 0-9, letak di dalam mangkuk buat cabutan. lepas tu kalau ada nombor yang mengena, 2-3 hari tak keluar bawak teksi.

24. Tabiat suami saya memang pelik. Kalau ada masalah saja mesti cari bomoh, lepas itu tanam macam2 jenis tangkal, mesti dia nak pergi 'bersangkak'.

25. Sewaktu bercinta mmg saya tahu suami kaki judi tetapi dia berjanji nak berhenti lepas kahwin. Tak cukup gaji, barang kemas saya digadaikan. Orang datang tuntut hutang perkara biasa ~ pernah rumah kami dibaling tahi.

26. Ketika bapa meninggal dunia dulu, baru kami tahu dia ada 3 isteri lain dan anak masih kecil. Rupa2nya selama ini emak tahu arwah suka kahwin cerai di merata2 tempat. Emak tidak peduli, asal arwah tidak menganggu hidupnya.

27. 3-4 bulan suami 'hilang' itu perkara biasa. Kadang2 sampai setahun. Saya tak perlu cari kerana tahu mesti dia di Serenti. Biasanya, dia kena 'serkup' waktu tengah tarik ganja dengan kawan2.

28. Anak ke-3 kami terencat sedikit. Suami penagih kronik dan sekarang dah ada tanda2 HIV.

29. Suami saya memang warak. Sembahyang tak pernah tinggal. Tetapi, saya tidak boleh tahan panas barannya. Kalau marah, habis dibaling barang2 rumah. Kalau pukul, anak dibaling macam bola.

30. Pernah saya nasihat suami jangan suka terima rasuah. Dia degil. Mula2 cuma hamper, kemudian barang kemas. Akhir sekali duit berpuluh2 ribu. Apabila dia kena cekup polis saya nak kata apa? Terpaksalah saya sara anak sementara dia di dalam penjara.

31. Sejak berniaga, suami gila karaoke. Kononnya nak rai pelanggan. Kesudahannya dia yang sangkut dengan GRO Filipina di situ. Sekarang perniagaanya lingkup dan dia dah ikut perempuan Filipina tu balik negeri. Dengar khabar dah dapat anak luar nikah.

32. Dulu hidup kami senang juga. Tetapi, selepas suami kena buang kerja sebab ketagih dadah dan selalu ponteng kerja, terpaksalah saya kerja kilang nak sara anak2.

33. Kalau seronok beristeri muda, mengapa mesti nak banding2kan kehebatan si madu di ranjang dengan saya? Tak puas lagi menyakitkan hati saya selama ini?

34. Kami memang miskin. Saya buat macam2 benda untuk tambah pendapatan. Jualan langsung, buat kuih, jual nasi lemak, jaga anak orang, upah sembat baju kurung. Suami saya lain pula ceritanya. Malam jadi "jaga".. siang dia kerja tidur atau melangut di kedai kopi.

35. Bab duit ringgit saya tak nafikan suami memang bertanggungjawab. Saya dapat banglo besar, kereta besar, belanja mewah. Tetapi jiwa saya kering. Suami sayang anak, tetapi masih membiarkan saya melihat "gigitan cinta" perempuan lain di badannya.

36. Pakcik saya memang hebat sewaktu muda. Kacak, bijak dan kerja besar. Isteri 2-3 orang, kekasih keliling pinggang. Anak ramai. Tetapi selepas pencen, dia papa kedana sebab duit KWSP habis bayar hutang. Kesudahannya, semua isteri minta cerai dan anak lenyap. Akhirnya dia mati seorang diri di katil hospital wad kelas tiga. Jenazahnya di urus abang saya dan pihak hospital.

37. Saya bekerja, suami bekerja. Tetapi, apabila pulang dari pejabat, suami terus capai kunci motor besarnya, merambu dengan kawan2 macam orang muda... sampai tergadai Maghrib dan Isyak. Tinggallah saya di rumah sorang diri terkial-kial menguruskan anak.

38. Walaupun sudah lama masuk Islam... mandi hadas? Saya masuk Islam kerana mahu kahwin dengan suami. Tetapi dia tidak pernah sekali pun beritahu saya perlu mandi hadas selepas bersetubuh atau datang bulan. Dia sendiri pun tak pernah buat.

39. Bagi saya perkahwinan sebenarnya lebih menguntungkan lelaki kerana mereka dapat buktikan kejantanan kepada kawan2 apabila isteri hamil, dapat pengurus tetap menjaga kain baju mereka, dapat tukang masak percuma, dapat joli lebih sebab isteri juga bekerja dan bantu sara keluarga serta dapat seks halal. Isteri dapat apa? Tugas bertambah dan silap haribulan berendam airmata...

40. Selepas 17 tahun berkahwin, rasa2nya gelaran saya sudah berubah. Dahulu 'isteri' sekarang 'pengurus anak-anak'. Hubungan dengan suami amat dingin. Kami hanya bercakap pekara penting sahaja. Hubungan seks hanya 2-3 bulan sekali. Itupun saya yang 'terhegeh-hegeh' . Saya pelik benar kerana dia bukan kaki perempuan dan memang confirm tiada isteri lain.

SUSUK SERI MUKA - Kisah Benar!!!

Aku ada kenal 1 bomoh ni, dia kawan aku jugak la.. Kalau korang nak nampak cantik, ayu, sri, atau tampan aku boleh rekemen... baikkkk punyer!

Tak bahaya benda ni (bukan macam botox yang main cucuk-cucuk tu...) dan tak perlu amal yang pelik-pelik (benda-benda khurafat tu..) .... kene ikut je syarat-syarat bomoh tu.

Ada 1 al-kisah...

Seorang wanita dari KL yang sudah banyak kali putus tunang, jadi dia ambik jalan ni untuk berjumpa dengan bomoh seri ni untuk mendapatkan susuk seri.

Jadi bomoh tu suruh dia datang semula dengan barang pengeras:-

• 7 Bunga : untuk mandi bunga
• Pulut Kuning : pengeras
• Ayam Kampung : pengeras
• dan RM10 : sahaja

Jadi bila, setelah selesai mandi bunga, dan makan KFC bersama bomoh tersebut. Bomoh tersebut suruh awek tu tunggu jap dia nak gi ambik susuk tu.

Jadi awek ni tunggu laaa kat pondok tu sehingga bomoh tu balik.

30 minit kemudian muncul bomoh tu dan dengan sebungkus benda di tangan dia.

Bomoh : Nah pegang elok-elok benda ni, letak dia di tempat tinggi selama 3 Jumaat dari sekarang.

Wanita : Baik tok!

Bomoh : Cukup sudah 3 Jumaat, kamu buka tepat pukul 12 malam sebelum hendak tido. Buka benda ni di bilik air dan jangan lupa bilas dengan air setelah guna.

Wanita : Baik tok!

Setelah cukup 3 Jumaat, wanita tersebut bawa bungkusan kain kuning itu ke bilik air..................... dan alangkah....

TERKEJUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTNYA dia melihat!!! Tak sanggup nak dipaparkan di sini...

KLIK UNTUK MELIHAT ISI BUNGKUSAN

Tetiba... wanita itu mendapat 1 sms dari tok bomoh itu.... dan message bunyinya,

KEJELITAAN ADALAH HAK MILIK SETIAP INSAN!

Sekian...

More Great Economic News

Following the reports about the increase in hunger in America, the Federal Reserve issued a report yesterday noting that after adjusting for inflation, the median income for American families suffered a setback, decreasing 2.3% between 2001 and 2004. But despite the hemming and hawing from corporate America, overall, businesses aren’t doing nearly as bad their employees:

“What’s troubling about the economic recovery that we’ve been in is that all of the traditional indicators of employment, household income and poverty levels are lagging behind prior expansions,” said Jean Ross, director of the California Budget Project, an economic think tank in Sacramento.

“The only indicator that is doing better than in prior expansions is corporate profits, which indicates that businesses aren’t passing on what they are gaining to their workers,” she said.

Other economic indicators like net worth have risen, albeit very grudgingly, moving up only 1.5%- the weakest measured gain in a decade. By contrast, between 1995 and 1998 that increase was 12.3% and between 1998-2001 the increase was 17.3%. But those were years Clinton was in office, so while Bush II’s supporters like to give him credit for today’s economy, they say that the good times in the 90’s were inherited by Clinton from the Reagan/Bush I years. And now, of course, any bad news during Bush II’s term are remnants of Clinton’s economic policies. Nothing like having your cake and eating it too, I guess.

Oh yes, the net unemployment rate from early 2001 to August 2003 was negative- 2.7 million fewer working Americans.

50 Dollars is 50 Dollars...

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter."

Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might die"

Esther replied: "Morris that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

The pilot overheard the couple and said, "folks I'll make you a deal - I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's 50 dollars".

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said "by golly, I did everything I could to make you say something.."

Morris replied "well, I was going to say something when Esther fell out, but 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

avast! Wins SC Award

This is the Antivirus software I use for 2 years... and still using it! :-) Congratulation ALWIL!!!

Prague – 15th February 2006: For immediate release: ALWIL Software is proud to announce that it has won the prestigious SC Readers Choice Awards for best Antivirus (avast!) for the USA section of the award event.

ALWIL Software’s avast! product was up against nominated industry leaders in the category, including: McAfee Inc. - McAfee VirusScan Enterprise 8.0i; Symantec Corporation - Symantec AntiVirus Corporate Edition 10.0 and Aladdin Knowledge Systems - Aladdin eSafe.

The annual awards, initially voted for by SC Magazine readers, are one of the most important awards run each year, with over 300 companies competing with over 1300 products and services.

The US awards were announced at a gala event at the Fairmont Hotel, San Jose, CA.

Commenting on the win, Eduard Kucera, Vice President and CEO of ALWIL Software said, "We are obviously very pleased to have won this well-regarded award, especially as our customers get to vote, we take it as them thanking us for a job well done. We are glad they feel we’ve earned it, and we can continue to offer word-class security solutions knowing we are getting it right."

Ondrej Vlcek, Lead Program Manager and head of development for ALWIL Software further commented: "This is an exciting win for us, and we would like to thank everyone who took the time to vote for us for helping us have both a great product, and, of course, win this award."

The European awards UK ceremony (for which avast! is also nominated) will take place at the Grosvenor House, London, UK on the 25th April 2006.

Press Release Ends

About ALWIL Software
Since 1988 ALWIL Software has produced antivirus products that have been developed into the multi-award winning avast! antivirus product line. Headquartered in Prague, in the Czech Republic, ALWIL Software develops and markets avast! antivirus products that cover everything from U3 devices, desktops, PDA and server protection on multiple platforms. Further details about the company and its products can be found here:

http://www.avast.com

Shutdown The Internet!

Are you boring with the internet? Why worry?? Just SHUT it down!! Now just click the link below and you know what to do next. Err please disable any pop-up blocker for this to work.

I AM ON MY WAY TO SHUTDOWN THE INTERNET

Do it at your own risk...!

Colours For Men

Men around the world are eager to know which colors match properly and which shades actually suit them best. Today, however, you'll learn what some of the most popular colors in fashion can actually say about your individuality. The results are inspired from information we gathered from our female readers and research in various fashion publications.

Although most of us don't really care what the opposite sex thinks about the way we dress (yeah right), it's quite entertaining to know which color expresses our personalities best. So read on to find out how you can bring out your best features with different colors and, in turn, please the ladies.

RED ALERT

The color red is the hue at the long-wave end of the visible spectrum, evoked in the human observer by radiant energy with wavelengths of approximately 630 to 750 nanometers. Boring! Who cares what the color red literally means - right.

The color red evokes dominance, power and attention. Red clothing will definitely make you stand out from the rest of the crowd and will mark you with sexual energy. Red is a commanding color that should be worn once in a while, for those times when you really want to make a statement and be different.

Here are a few striking red fashion items you could wear to make your statement:

• Red V-neck or crew neck sweaters
• A sturdy red windbreaker
• A red umbrella
• A red button-down shirt
• A red suit with matching red shoes (only if you're looking to do a little pimpin')

PEACH/PINK

Peach and pink project an upbeat attitude and calming characteristics, as well as good health. Remember, these explanations are generic and won't apply to every man wearing such colors. So don't think you'll look healthier just because you're wearing a pink or peach sweater, although it might liven up your outer shell.

Here are a few peach or pink fashion items that can lighten up your appearance:

• A peach button-down shirt (for late afternoon cocktail parties)
• Pink was in last summer -- but won't be this summer.
• A peach wool cardigan or crew neck sweater (with dark indigo jeans)

BLACK

The color of darkness is undoubtedly the most popular color in fashion. A man wearing black suggests elegance, authority and power. When worn properly, black clothing also conveys neatness, simplicity and great versatility.

I don't know of any piece of clothing or fashion accessory that doesn't look good in black. Never hesitate to go with black - just don't wear all black, all the time.

WHITE

White clothing is a sign of virtue and can give you an extremely clean appearance. This obviously implies that your white clothing should be spotless. White clothing can also point towards a higher social status, and looks very preppy.

• A white button-down shirt
• In summer, a nice pair of white linen pants
• A trendy white winter/spring/fall jacket
• For summer galas, a well-tailored white suit will set you apart

Group of Animals

Animals come in many forms, sizes and shapes and are usually grouped together in the wild for different reasons. They may work together as a team to; gather food effectively and efficiently, for protection, grooming, raising of their young, for migration and to play. You can go through the list to see what you know, ponder over a few and learn the rest. For example, what are a group of giraffes called? Or what are a group of owls called?

ANIMAL GROUP (Collective Names)

Antelope: A herd of antelope
Ant: A colony or An army of ants
Ape: A shrewdness of apes
Baboons: A troop of baboons
Bacteria: A culture of bacteria
Badger: A cete of badgers
Bass: A shoal of bass
Bear: A sleuth or sloth of bears
Beaver: A colony of beavers
Bee: A swarm, grist or hive of bees
Bird: A flock, flight, congregation or volery of birds
Boar: A sounder of boars
Buffalo: A herd of buffalo
Buck: A brace or clash of bucks
Caterpillar: An army of caterpillars
Cat: A clowder or clutter of cats
Cattle: A herd or drove of cattle
Chicken: A brood or peep of chickens
Chicks: A clutch or chattering of chicks
Clam: A bed of clams
Cobra: A quiver of cobras
Cockroach: An intrusion of cockroaches
Colt: A rag of colts
Cow: A kine of cows (twelve cows are A flink)
Coyote: A band of coyote
Crane: A sedge or siege of cranes
Crocodile: A float of crocodiles
Crow: A murder of crows
Cub: A litter of cubs
Curlew: A herd of curlews
Cur: A cowardice of curs
Deer: A herd of deer
Dog: A pack of dogs
Donkey: A herd or pace of asses
Dove: A dule of doves
Duck: A brace, paddling or team of ducks
Elephant: A herd of elephants
Seal: A pod of elephant seals
Elk: A gang of elks
Emus: A mob of emus
Ferret: A business or flensing of ferrets
Finches: A charm of finches
Fish: A school, shoal, run, haul, catch of fish
Fly: A swarm or business of flies
Fox: A skulk or leash of foxes
Frog: An army or colony of frogs
Geese: A flock, gaggle or skein (in flight) of geese
Giraffe: A tower of giraffes/giraffe
Gnat: A cloud or horde of gnats
Goat: A herd, tribe or trip goats
Goldfince: A charm of goldfinches
Gorilla: A band of gorillas
Goldfish: A troubling of goldfish/goldfishes
Greyhound: A leash of greyhounds
Hare: A down or husk of hares
Hawk: A cast or kettle of hawks
Hen: A brood of hens
Heron: A hedge of herons
Hippopotamus: A bloat of hippopotamuses /hippopotami
Hog: A drift, or parcel of hogs
Horse: A team, pair or harras of horses
Hound: A pack, mute or cry of hounds
Jellyfish: A smack of jellyfish
Kangaroo: A troop or mob of kangaroos
Kitten: A kindle or litter of kittens
Lark: An ascension or exaultation of larks
Leopard: A leap (leep) of leopards
Lion: A pride of lions
Locust: A plague of locusts
Magpie: A tiding of magpies
Mallard: A sord of mallards
Mare: A stud of mares
Marten: A richness of martens
Mole: A labour of moles
Monkey: A troop of monkeys
Moose: A herd of moose
Mouse: A mischief of mice
Mule: A barren or span of mules
Owls: A parliament of owls
Otter: A romp of otters
Oxen: A yoke, drove, team or herd of oxen
Oyster: A bed of oysters
Parrot: A company of parrots
Partridge: A covey of partridges
Peacock: A muster, pride or ostentation of peacocks
Peep: A litter of peeps
Penguin: A colony,parcel or huddle of penguins
Pheasant: A nest, nide (nye) or bouquet of pheasants
Pigeon: A flock or flight of pigeons
Pig: A litter of pigs
Plover: A wing or congregation of plovers
Pony: A string of ponies
Porpoise: A pod of porpoises
Quail: A covey or bevy of quail
Rabbit: A nest of rabbits
Rat: A pack or swarm of rats
Rattlesnake: A rhumba of rattlesnakes
Raven: An unkindness of ravens
Rhino: A crash or herd of rhinos
Roebuck: A bevy of roebucks
Rook: A building or clamour of rooks
Seal: A herd or pod of seals
Sheep: A drove or flock of sheep
Snake: A nest of snakes
Snipe: A walk or wisp of snipe
Sparrow: A host of sparrows
Squirrel: A dray or scurry of squirrels
Starling: A murmuration of starlings
Stork: A mustering of storks
Swallow: A flight of swallows
Swan: A bevy, herd, lamentation or wedge of swans
Swift: A flock of swifts
Swine: A sounder or drift of swine
Teal: A spring of teal
Tiger: A swift or ambush of tigers
Toad: A knot of toads
Trout: A hover of trout
Turkey: A rafter of turkeys
Turtledove: A pitying or dule of turtledoves
Turtle: A bale of turtles
Walrus: A pod of walrus
Whale: A school, gam or pod of whales
Viper: A nest of vipers
Wolf: A pack or route of wolves
Woodcock: A fall of woodcocks
Woodpecker: A descent of woodpeckers
Zebra: A herd,zeal or dazzle of zebras

A HUNTING TALE

A father and son went hunting together for the first time.

The father said: "Stay here and be very QUIET. I'll be across the field."

A few minutes later the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son. "What's wrong?" the father asked. "I told you to be quiet."

The boy, bless his heart, answered;

"Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. I didn't move a muscle when the skunk climbed over my shoulder. I closed my eyes and held my breath when the wasp stung me. I didn't cough when I swallowed the gnat. I didn't cuss or scratch when the poison oak started itching.

But when the two squirrels crawled up my pant legs and said, 'Should we eat them here or take them with us?' Well, I guess I just panicked...

TOP TEN Excuses - If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work

10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk.
1. " ...... AMIIIN!"

Corruption

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated loudly.

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

Bahasa-Bahasa Di Dunia

Senarai negara di seluruh dunia serta bahasa yang digunakan mereka. Senarai menunjukkan dialek, bahasa rasmi, peratus penduduk yang menggunakannya dan lain-lain lagi.

[Here are a list of countries around the world along with their language. The list show those that are dialect, official, what percentage of a population speak a certain language within that country and so on...]

• Afghanistan - Pashtu, Dari Persian, other Turkic and minor languages
• Albania - Albanian (Tosk is the official dialect), Greek
• Algeria - Arabic (official), French, Berber dialects
• Andorra - Catalán (official), French, Castilian, Portuguese
• Angola - Portuguese (official), Bantu and other African languages
• Antigua and Barbuda - English (official), local dialects
• Argentina - Spanish (official), English, Italian, German, French
• Armenia - Armenian 96%, Russian 2%, other 2%
• Australia - English, native languages
• Austria - German 98% (official nationwide); Slovene, Croatian, Hungarian (each official in one region)
• Azerbaijan - Azerbaijani Turkic 89%, Russian 3%, Armenian 2%, other 6% (1995 est.)
• Bahamas - English (official), Creole (among Haitian immigrants)
• Bahrain - Arabic, English, Farsi, Urdu
• Bangladesh - Bangla (official), English
• Barbados - English
• Belarus - Belorussian (White Russian), Russian, other
• Belgium - Dutch (Flemish) 60%, French 40%, German less than 1% (all official); legally bilingual (Dutch and French)
• Belize - English (official), Spanish, Mayan, Garifuna (Carib), Creole
• Benin - French (official), Fon, Yoruba, tribal languages
• Bhutan - Dzongkha (official), Tibetan dialects (among Bhotes), Nepalese dialects (among Nepalese)
• Bolivia - Spanish, Quechua, Aymara (all official)
• Bosnia and Herzegovina - Bosnian, Croatian, Serbian (all official)
• Botswana - English (official), Setswana
• Brazil - Portuguese (official), Spanish, English, French
• Brunei Darussalam - Malay (official), English, Chinese
• Bulgaria - Bulgarian; secondary languages strongly correspond to ethnic breakdown
• Burkina Faso - French (official); native African (Sudanic) languages 90%
• Burundi - Kirundi and French (official), Swahili
• Cambodia - Khmer (official), French, English
• Cameroon - French, English (both official); 24 major African language groups
• Canada - English 59.3%, French 23.2% (both official); other 17.5%
• Cape Verde - Portuguese, Criuolo
• Central African Republic - French (official), Sangho (lingua franca, national), tribal languages
• Chad - French, Arabic (both official); Sara; more than 120 languages and dialects
• Chile - Spanish
• China - Standard Chinese (Mandarin/Putonghua), Yue (Cantonese), Wu (Shanghaiese), Minbei (Fuzhou), Minnan (Hokkien-Taiwanese), Xiang, Gan, Hakka dialects, minority languages
• Colombia - Spanish
• Comoros - Arabic and French (both official), Shikomoro (Swahili/Arabic blend)
• Congo, Republic of - French (official), Lingala, Monokutuba, Kikongo, many local languages and dialects
• Congo, Democratic Republic of - the French (official), Lingala, Kingwana, Kikongo, Tshiluba
• Costa Rica - Spanish (official), English
• Côte d'Ivoire - French (official) and African languages (Diaula esp.)
• Croatia - Croatian 96% (official), other 4% (including Italian, Hungarian, Czech, Slovak, German)
• Cuba - Spanish
• Cyprus - Greek, Turkish (both official); English
• Czech Republic - Czech
• Denmark - Danish, Faeroese, Greenlandic (Inuit dialect), German; English is the predominant second language
• Djibouti - French and Arabic (both official), Somali, Afar
• Dominica - English (official) and French patois
• Dominican Republic - Spanish
• East Timor - Tetum, Portuguese (official); Bahasa Indonesia, English; other indigenous languages, including Tetum, Galole, Mambae, and Kemak
• Ecuador - Spanish (official), Quechua, other Amerindian languages
• Egypt - Arabic (official), English and French widely understood by educated classes
• El Salvador - Spanish, Nahua (among some Amerindians)
• Equatorial Guinea - Spanish, French (both official); pidgin English, Fang, Bubi, Ibo
• Eritrea - Afar, Arabic, Tigre and Kunama, Tigrinya, other Cushitic languages
• Estonia - Estonian (official), Russian, Ukrainian, Finnish, other
• Ethiopia - Amharic (official), Tigrigna, Orominga, Guaragigna, Somali, Arabic, English, over 70 others
• Fiji - English (official), Fijian, Hindustani
• Finland - Finnish 93.4%, Swedish 5.9% (both official); small Sami- (Lapp) and Russian-speaking minorities
• France - French 100%, rapidly declining regional dialects (Provençal, Breton, Alsatian, Corsican, Catalan, Basque, Flemish)
• Gabon - French (official), Fang, Myene, Bateke, Bapounou/Eschira, Bandjabi
• Gambia, The - English (official), Mandinka, Wolof, Fula, other indigenous
• Georgia - Georgian 71% (official), Russian 9%, Armenian 7%, Azerbaijani 6%, other 7% (Abkhaz is the official language in Abkhazia)
• Germany - German
• Ghana - English (official), African languages (including Akan, Moshi-Dagomba, Ewe, and Ga)
• Greece - Greek 99% (official), English, French
• Grenada - English (official), French patois
• Guatemala - Spanish 60%, Amerindian languages 40% (23 officially recognized Amerindian languages, including Quiche, Cakchiquel, Kekchi, Mam, Garifuna, and Xinca)
• Guinea - French (official), native tongues (Malinké, Susu, Fulani)
• Guinea-Bissau - Portuguese (official), Criolo, African languages
• Guyana - English (official), Amerindian dialects, Creole, Hindi, Urdu
• Haiti - Creole and French (both official)
• Honduras - Spanish (official), Amerindian dialects; English widely spoken in business
• Hungary - Magyar (Hungarian), 98.2%; other, 1.8%
• Iceland - Icelandic, English, Nordic languages, German widely spoken
• India - Hindi (official), English (official), Bengali, Gujarati, Kashmiri, Malayalam, Marathi, Oriya, Punjabi, Tamil, Telugu, Urdu, Kannada, Assamese, Sanskrit, Sindhi (all recognized by the constitution). Dialects, 1,600+
• Indonesia - Bahasa Indonesia (official), English, Dutch, Javanese, and more than 580 other languages and dialects
• Iran - Persian and Persian dialects 58%, Turkic and Turkic dialects 26%, Kurdish 9%, Luri 2%, Balochi 1%, Arabic 1%, Turkish 1%, other 2%
• Iraq - Arabic (official), Kurdish (official in Kurdish regions), Assyrian, Armenian
• Ireland - English, Irish (Gaelic)
• Israel - Hebrew (official), Arabic, English
• Italy - Italian (official); German-, French-, and Slovene-speaking minorities
• Jamaica - English, Jamaican Creole
• Japan - Japanese
• Jordan - Arabic (official), English
• Kazakhstan - Kazak (Qazaq, state language) 64.4%; Russian (official, used in everyday business) 95% (2001 est.)
• Kenya - English (official), Swahili (national), and several other languages spoken by 25 ethnic groups
• Kiribati - English (official), I-Kiribati (Gilbertese)
• Korea, North - Korean
• Korea, South - Korean, English widely taught
• Kuwait - Arabic (official), English
• Kyrgyzstan - Kyrgyz, Russian (both official)
• Laos - Lao (official), French, English, various ethnic languages
• Latvia - Latvian (official), Lithuanian, Russian, other
• Lebanon - Arabic (official), French, English, Armenian
• Lesotho - English, Sesotho (both official); Zulu, Xhosa
• Liberia - English 20% (official), some 20 ethnic-group languages
• Libya - Arabic, Italian and English widely understood in major cities
• Liechtenstein - German (official), Alemannic dialect
• Lithuania - Lithuanian (official), Polish, Russian
• Luxembourg - Luxermbourgish (national) French, German (both administrative)
• Macedonia - Macedonian 68%, Albanian 25% (both official); Turkish 3%, Serbo-Croatian 2%, other 2%
• Madagascar - Malagasy and French (both official)
• Malawi English and Chichewa (both official), others important regionally
• Malaysia - Bahasa Melayu (Malay, official), English, Chinese dialects (Cantonese, Mandarin, Hokkien, Hakka, Hainan, Foochow), Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam, Panjabi, Thai; several indigenous languages (including Iban, Kadazan) in East Malaysia
• Maldives - Maldivian Dhivehi (official); English spoken by most government officials
• Mali - French (official), Bambara 80%, numerous African languages
• Malta - Maltese and English (both official)
• Marshall Islands - Marshallese (two major dialects from the Malayo-Polynesian family), English (both official); Japanese
• Mauritania Hassaniya - Arabic, Wolof (both official); Pulaar, Soninke, French
• Mauritius - English, French (both official); Creole, Hindi, Urdu, Hakka, Bojpoori
• Mexico - Spanish, various Mayan, Nahuatl, and other regional indigenous languages
• Micronesia - English (official, common), Chukese, Pohnpeian, Yapase, Kosrean, Ulithian, Woleaian, Nukuoro, Kapingamarangi
• Moldova - Moldovan (official; virtually the same as Romanian), Russian, Gagauz (a Turkish dialect)
• Monaco - French (official), English, Italian, Monégasque
• Mongolia - Mongolian, 90%; also Turkic and Russian (1999)
• Morocco - Arabic (official), Berber dialects, French often used for business, government, and diplomacy
• Mozambique - Portuguese (official), Bantu languages
• Myanmar - Burmese, minority languages
• Namibia - English 7% (official), Afrikaans common language of most of the population and about 60% of the white population, German 32%, indigenous languages: Oshivambo, Herero, Nama
• Nauru - Nauruan (official), English
• Nepal - Nepali 90% (official), over 40 other languages and major dialects, English (1995)
• The Netherlands - Dutch, Frisian (both official)
• New Zealand - English, Maori (both official)
• Nicaragua - Spanish (official); English and indigenous languages on Atlantic coast
• Niger - French (official), Hausa, Djerma
• Nigeria - English (official), Hausa, Yoruba, Ibo, Fulani, and more than 200 others
• Norway - Bokmål Norwegian, Nynorsk Norwegian (both official); small Sami- and Finnish-speaking minorities
• Oman - Arabic (official), English, Baluchi, Urdu, Indian dialects
• Pakistan - Punjabi 48%, Sindhi 12%, Siraiki (a Punjabi variant) 10%, Pashtu 8%, Urdu (official) 8%, Balochi 3%, Hindko 2%, Brahui 1%, English, Burushaski, and others 8%
• Palau - English (official everywhere); Palau (official in all states but those following); Sonsoralese (official in Sonsoral); Tobi (official in Tobi); Angaur and Japanese (official in Angaur)
• Palestinian State (proposed) - Arabic, Hebrew, English
• Panama Spanish (official), - English 14%, many bilingual
• Papua New Guinea - Tok Pisin (Melanesian Pidgin, the lingua franca), Hiri Motu (in Papua region), English 1–2%; 715 indigenous languages
• Paraguay - Spanish, Guaraní (both official)
• Peru - Spanish, Quéchua (both official); Aymara; many minor Amazonian languages
• The Philippines - Filipino (based on Tagalog), English (both official); eight major dialects: Tagalog, Cebuano, Ilocano, Hiligaynon or Ilonggo, Bicol, Waray, Pampango, and Pangasinense
• Poland - Polish
• Portugal - Portuguese (official), Mirandese (official, but locally used)
• Qatar - Arabic (official); English a common second language
• Romania - Romanian (official), Hungarian, German
• Russia - Russian, others
• Rwanda - Kinyarwanda, French, and English (all official); Kiswahili in commercial centers
• St. Kitts and Nevis - English
• St. Lucia - English (official), French patois
• St. Vincent and the Grenadines - English, French patois
• Samoa - Samoan, English
• San Marino - Italian
• São Tomé and Príncipe - Portuguese (official)
• Saudi Arabia - Arabic
• Senegal - French (official); Wolof, Pulaar, Jola, Mandinka
• Serbia and Montenegro - Serbian (official) 95%, Albanian 5%
• Seychelles - Seselwa Creole, English, French (all official)
• Sierra Leone - English (official), Mende (southern vernacular), Temne (northern vernacular), Krio (lingua franca)
• Singapore - Malay (national), Mandarin Chinese, Tamil, English (all official)
• Slovakia - Slovak (official), Hungarian
• Slovenia - Slovenian 92%, Serbo-Croatian 6.2%, other 1.8%
• Solomon Islands - English 1%–2% (official), Melanesian pidgin (lingua franca), 120 indigenous languages
• Somalia - Somali (official), Arabic, English, Italian
• South Africa - Afrikaans, English, Ndebele, Pedi, Sotho, Swazi, Tsonga, Tswana, Venda, Xhosa, Zulu (all 11 official)
• Spain - Castilian Spanish 74% (official nationwide); Catalan 17%, Galician 7%, Basque 2% (each official regionally)
• Sri Lanka - Sinhala 74% (official and national), Tamil 18% (national), other 8%; English is commonly used in government and spoken competently by about 10%
• Sudan - Arabic (official), Nubian, Ta Bedawie, diverse dialects of Nilotic, Nilo-Hamitic, Sudanic languages, English
• Suriname - Dutch (official), Surinamese (lingua franca), English widely spoken, Hindustani, Javanese
• Swaziland - English, siSwati (both official)
• Sweden - Swedish, small Sami- and Finnish-speaking minorities
• Switzerland - German 63.7%, French 12.9%, Italian 7.6%, Romansch 0.6% (all official); other 8.9%
• Syria - Arabic (official); Kurdish, Armenian, Aramaic, Circassian widely understood; French, English somewhat understood
• Taiwan - Chinese (Mandarin, official), Taiwanese (Min), Hakka dialects
• Tajikistan - Tajik (official), Russian widely used in government and business
• Tanzania - Swahili, English (both official); Arabic; many local languages
• Thailand - Thai (Siamese), English (secondary language of the elite), ethnic and regional dialects
• Togo - French (official, commerce); Ewé, Mina (south); Kabyé, Cotocoli (north); and many dialects
• Tonga - Tongan (an Austronesian language), English
• Trinidad and Tobago - English (official), Hindi, French, Spanish, Chinese
• Tunisia - Arabic (official, commerce), French (commerce)
• Turkey - Turkish (official), Kurdish, Arabic, Armenian, Greek
• Turkmenistan - Turkmen 72%; Russian 12%; Uzbek 9%, other 7%
• Tuvalu - Tuvaluan, English, Samoan, Kiribati (on the island of Nui)
• Uganda - English (official), Ganda or Luganda, other Niger-Congo languages, Nilo-Saharan languages, Swahili, Arabic
• Ukraine - Ukrainian, Russian, Romanian, Polish, Hungarian
• United Arab Emirates - Arabic (official), Persian, English, Hindi, Urdu
• United Kingdom - English, Welsh, Scots Gaelic
• United States - English, sizable Spanish-speaking minority
• Uruguay - Spanish, Portunol, or Brazilero
• Uzbekistan - Uzbek 74.3%, Russian 14.2%, Tajik 4.4%, other 7.1%
• Vanuatu - Bislama (a Melanesian pidgin English), English, French (all 3 official); more than 100 local languages
• Vatican City (Holy See) - Italian, Latin, French, various other languages
• Venezuela - Spanish (official), numerous indigenous dialects
• Vietnam - Vietnamese (official); English (increasingly favored as a second language); some French, Chinese, Khmer; mountain area languages (Mon-Khmer and Malayo-Polynesian)
• Western Sahara (proposed state) - Hassaniya Arabic, Moroccan Arabic
• Yemen - Arabic
• Zambia - English (official); major vernaculars: Bemba, Kaonda, Lozi, Lunda, Luvale, Nyanja, Tonga; about 70 other indigenous languages
• Zimbabwe - English (official), Shona, Ndebele (Sindebele), numerous minor tribal dialects

Try these yourself...

Get this photoshop work on the net.. it is said that when you look it directly for a while, then you will feel a headache it is working i guess… i feel it whenever i look it even just 10 seconds…

Hidden man in the coffee beans

There is a hidden man (just his head) between the coffee beans… find out where he is.. :D

All new Shah Rukh Khan!!!

To the fans of the famous Bollywood star....

Click to see:-
Photo1

Photo2

Photo3

Need a job???

Female only... Click below for further detail:-

JOB!


Arrrgghh Not the cat!!! Click on "JOB" above!!!

Internet

For you to be here reading this article we all of have some one to thank for the invention of this communication platform called the internet. Some of us are avid users of the internet who might be a fellow blogger, a surfer, an online business owner, a student, teacher, a stay at home mom and the list goes on but, have you ever wonder who invented the web? If you do know, then congrats but I hope you did not say Bill Gates. William "Bill" Henry Gates III is the cofounder, chairman and Chief Software Architect of Microsoft Corporation. He controls the largest software company in the world and is also the worlds richest individual. Well, if that was your answer or you cannot answer the question above then, that’s where this article comes in.

How it all began - a quick synopsis of the internet history
The pavement for the internet was sparked by the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) launching of the first earth satellite called Sputnik in 1957. The United States was shocked by the USSR advancement in technology and out of fear, they envisioned the danger of the Soviet creating weapons in space that could strike them anytime and place in the US. Seeing the danger that they would be helpless and susceptible to such a potential attack they quickly responded by forming an organization called Advanced Research Projects Agency (ARPA) in 1959. This organization came under the umbrella of the Department of Defense (DoD) and was given the responsibility to establish the United States as a military leader in the advancement of science and technology. This set off the space race between both countries.

[Note: The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was commonly called Soviet Union or Russia. Abbr. USSR.]

By the year 1965 due to the theories of computer networking development, ARPA sponsored a study on 'co-operative network of time-sharing computers'. In 1968 Pentagon (the United States military head quarters) put forward a proposal for the Advanced Research Projects Agency Network (ARPANET) - a pioneering wide area computer network- to unite America's military and scientific establishments. In 1972 The Advanced Research Projects Agency (ARPA) was renamed The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA).

The genesis of the Internet
By the late 1980’s researchers (from around the world) contributing at the European Particle Research Laboratory (CERN) in Geneva, Switzerland were having problems organizing and formatting documents that they wanted to share since their different computers and software system had to be compatible with the main CERN computing system. This caused frustration which lead to an unwillingness to comply to the CERN computing system. In addition, CERN being the premier Internet site in Europe were having serious problems locating all their data information. There system was quickly becoming overwhelmed by daily data information and urgently need a system that could readily correct this problem. There problem was however answered by a young computer researcher named Tim Berners-Lee.

The inventor of the web
Tim Berners-Lee, a British scientist invented the World Wide Web in 1990. He graduated from the Queen's College at Oxford University, England, 1976. In 1980 he spent six months at CERN as a consultant software engineer. While there, he wrote his own personal software program as a memory substitute for storing data information called "Enquire". Even though this was not published it set the foundation on which the internet concept was built for the future. In 1984 however, he took up a fellowship at this same organization and in 1989 in response to the problems that was facing CERN he submitted a proposal called the global hypertext project. The purpose of this project was for the development of a data information system that would create a network (web) of information. This information system is now known as the World Wide Web.

In 1990, he wrote the first World Wide Web (WWW) server called the Hypertext Transfer Protocol (HTTP). This “WWW” system that he would design was the method in which computers would communicate over the internet using hypertext documents. This system worked by assigning a universal system of written documents with addresses and hypertext links to all information. He called the system of written addresses a Universal Resource Identifier (URI). This is now known as Uniform Resource Locator (URL).

A hypertext link is a computer-based text retrieval system that enables a user to access particular locations in webpages documents by clicking on links within specific webpages or documents. By October 1990 Tim Berners-Lee started working on his proposal and wrote a program - hypertext browser/editor -that would allow hypertext documents to be retrieved and viewed. In the summer of 1991 his WorldWideWeb browser/editor and web server software, that was originated within CERN, became available on the Internet. Researchers and computer enthusiasts from around the world began setting up their own web system by downloading the browser and the web server software using File Transfer Protocol (FTP). His goal became a reality that would now solve the problem that the scientist at CERN where facing. Scientists were now able to send and post information documents on the web that could easily be assessed by anyone around the world that needed that specific information. This therefore means that they didn’t have to worry or get frustrated of whether the operating system used by other scientists were compatible or not due to the difference in the different operating systems used.

During the next three years as users of the internet spread, Berners-Lee worked on refining the internet through feedback from its users. In 1994 he went to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) where he worked in the Laboratory department for Computer Science (LCS). He wanted the World Wide Web to be free and not to be controled by any company or institution manipulated by destructive competition and so, he envisioned a consortium that would enhance the full potential of the Web development thus ensuring stability and evolutionary transformation of the web in a standardize democratic process. Thus, through the help of MIT he head the new consortium as Director, known as the World Wide Web consortium (W3C) and coordinates all three centers world wide MIT Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory (CSAIL) in the US, European Research Consortium for Informatics and Mathematics (ERCIM) in France, and Keio University in Japan. The goal and mission of W3C is to ensure the web stability by standardizing the technical specifications of the WWW and laying down guidelines by which to follow by a democratic process. These standards and guidelines are not enforced but are recommended by W3C . This they achieved by bringing together all its members and other internet/software companies such as Microsoft, Sun, IBM, Apple and Netscape just to name a few.

Discussion
The internet might have just started 15 years ago but it is now one of the most important universal communication platforms. In spite of all this, Tim Berners-Lee development of the web has not brought him wealth and fame. However, it can be concluded that the purpose of his invention of the Web was not for monetary gains. We all owe the “father of the web” for this great invention that has improved our way of life in so many different ways.

Extra - did you know?
The first e-mail program was created in 1972 by Ray Tomlinson of Bolt Beranek and Newman (BBN).

LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because of a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Dynamite!!!

A body builder picks up a blonde at a bar and takes her home with him. He takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have."

The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite."

He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "What massive calves you have."

The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite." He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment.

The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment.

The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was.

Movies I'm Not Going To Miss...

Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest

MOVIE DETAILS
Release Date: 2006-07-07
Studio: Walt Disney Pictures
Director: Gore Verbinski
Writer: Terry Rossio, Ted Elliott
Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Chow Young Fat, Stellan Skarsgård
Genre: Action, Fantasy, Adventure
Official Site: http://www.blackpearlracing.com/

This time around, Johnny returns as Captain Jack Sparrow and is caught in yet another tangled web of supernatural intrigue. It turns out, Captain Jack owes a blood debt to the legendary Davey Jones, ruler of the ocean depths and captain of the ghostly Flying Dutchman. If Jack can't figure a crafty way out of this one, he'll be cursed to an afterlife of eternal servitude and damnation. And as if that weren't enough, Captain Jack's problems throw a huge wrench into the wedding plans of the blissful Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, who quickly find themselves thrust into Jack's misadventures.

The Da Vinci Code

MOVIE DETAILS
Release Date: 2006-05-19
Studio: Columbia Pictures
Director: Ron Howard
Writer: Akiva Goldsman
Starring: Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellen, Paul Bettany, Jean Reno, Alfred Molina, Jürgen Prochnow, Etienne Chicot, Jean-Pierre Marielle
Genre: Thriller
Official Site:

While in Paris on business, Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) receives an urgent late-night phone call: the elderly curator of the Louvre has been murdered inside the museum. Near the body, police have found a baffling cipher. While working to solve the enigmatic riddle, Langdon is stunned to discover it leads to a trail of clues hidden in the works of Da Vinci - clues visible for all to see - yet ingeniously disguised by the painter. Langdon joins forces with a gifted French cryptologist, Sophie Neveu, and learns the late curator was involved in the Priory of Sion - an actual secret society whose members included Sir Isaac Newton, Botticelli, Victor Hugo, and Da Vinci, among others. In a breathless race through Paris, London, and beyond, Langdon and Neveu match wits with a faceless powerbroker who seems to anticipate their every move. Unless Langdon and Neveu can decipher the labyrinthine puzzle in time, the Priory's ancient secret - and an explosive historical truth - will be lost forever.

Hair

Some facts about hair:

• The most common areas on the scalp in which to first see gray hair development are above the ears and/or at the temples.
• Hair only grows 0.3 to 0.5 millimeters each day.
• Your hair is a record book of your lifestyle. In its physical and chemical structure it can tell if you: smoke, drink and take drugs. It can also tell: what you eat, where you live, your habits, ethic origin and lifestyle. There is only one thing about you that your hair cannot reveal: Your gender.
• Blondes are most likely to develop a completely white head of hair in old age than any other hair color because their hair fiber has a very low concentration melanin pigment in it.
• The lifespan of a human hair is 3 to 7 years in the average.
• The average person has up to 150,000 hairs on her or his head.
• African hair grows more slowly and is more fragile than European hair. Asian hair grows the fastest and has the greatest elasticity.
• Africans and Europeans are more prone than Asians to balding.
• Hair texture can be temporarily or permanently altered by pregnancy, medication, chemotherapy and age.
• Poliosis: An absence or lessening of melanin in hair of the scalp, brows, or lashes. It comes from polios, the Greek word for "gray."
• Gray hair in childhood is known as ‘Premature graying’ or canities.

Fashion in Tokyo

This skirt aren't see through or worn out it actually have the picture of the scantily clad bum printed on it...

10 Things You Should Know About A True Blue Johorean

Actually I stole this from Sultana's blog dengan sedikit tambahan... Ahaks!!! :-)

Dapat dari forum. Miaha ha ha... Bila pikir2 balik, ada betul gak kata2 penulis.... :) Tp memandangkan dah lama tak dok Johor, jadi sedikit sebanyak dah kurang sikit lah tanda2 kejohoran aku nih. Kakak pun pernah tegur, "cakap cam orang KL eh." Dia refer kat aku lah. Hmmm... You all buat lah penilaian, betul ke tak betul keterangan kat bawah nih.. Refer2 lah kat member yang asal dari Johor tuh.. :)

1. They end 9 out of 10 sentences with Ekkk... Ekk ialah trademark orang Johor. Digunakan di hujung SETIAP ayat menggantikan tanda soal (question mark). Contoh :- Ni awak punyer ekk? Nama awak saper ekk ? Kenapa kite kaler tak cantik ekk ? Dan macam-macam ekk lagi. Aku teringat semasa aku sekolah dulu, aku dan member sebelah aku boring yang amat di dalam kelas, so to keep us awake, kami dok mengira berapa kali Cikgu sebut ekk. In a period of 40 minutes, dekat 100 kali! Lepas tu kami gelarkan Cikgu tu as Cikgu Fadzillah* Ekk. (*bukan nama sebenar).

2. They refer to Johor Bahru as Johor and not JB. Kalau orang di negeri Johor sebut Johor, it meant Johor Bahru (JB), the city dan bukan Johor, the state. Biasa digunakan oleh mereka yang tinggal di luar bandar Johor Bahru seperti di Masai-chusettes umpamanya. Contoh : Beb, gua nak turun Johor laa. Lu mahu ikut gua tak? So, if you ARE already in Johor, tak kira di daerah mana - if the locals kata nak pergi Johor, it means nak ke Johor Bahru. Jangan pulak buat lawak bongok** berkata, " Eh, lu kan dah ada kat Johor?" Or worse, jangan memandai nak tambah ekk with that question.

3. They pronounce Muar as MUOR. (kena juih bibir sikit) In fact you pronounce everything that ends with "AR" as "OR". Contoh : Aku kena pakai seluor besor untuk main bolor kat Muor besok. (Aku kena pakai seluar besar nak main bola di Muar besok). Aku teringat Kakak tegur aku bila aku cakap macam tu. Kenapa Mama sebut besar, BESOR ? Slipper , SLIPPOR ? Aku tergelak. Aku cuma speak like that bila berjumpa dengan true blue Johorean aje. Lapo (lapar), penampor (penampar), ulor (ular), pagor (pagar) dan lain-lain.

4. They are brash with a CRAZY sense of humour. Honestly, I belum pernah jumpa orang Johor yang serious or square to a T. Or cannot take a joke. Walaupun pendiam atau pemalu , but their sense of humour boleh tahan gak. Almost all of them (yang aku jumpa dan kenal lah) are either loyar buruk or bigor **. Baik di kampung mahu di Bandar. The sense of humour is unique that I find kadang-kadang orang luar (non-Johorean) agak takut with the brashness of budak-budak Johor. (Did you see Majalah 3 the other night - see how Tunku Yem (nama manja Tunku Mahkota Johor) bercerita pasal anakanda dia Tunku Ismail ? Haha.... that is exactly my point!)

5. Diorang ada ENDUT **. Kalau tak pernah berendut, sure pernah ada endut or busuk-busuk pun teringin nak ada endut. Contoh ayat : Haa...kau dah ada endut yer ? Kau pergi berendut kat mana ? Orang berendut dia pun nak berendut.

6. Diorang Makan Gula Tarik, Sagun, Gula Kandy, Bobotok.... Dah lama aku tak tengok atau makan gula tarik, sagun or kandy. Ada lagi ke bebenda ni kat Johor ? Aku tak boleh nak describe dengan teliti these things cos it has been 30 years since I last tasted them. Seperti Kak P cakap - makanan seperti botok-botok. Kalau out of Johor, botok-botok dikenali dengan nama PAIS IKAN. Jangan tanya aku how to describe the ingredients cos aku tak berapa gemar makan sebab guna banyak sangat daun ( aku tak suka makan sayur - especially ulam). Yang aku tahu - pakai daun segala daun, termasuk daun betik dan gunakan kari ikan and balut dengan daun-daun tu dan kukus. Aku pernah tanya my Dad dulu - kenapa buruk benor nama dia bebotok. Then my Dad cerita : Di zaman dulu ada seorang nenek yang tinggal seorang diri. Everyday cucu dia akan datang bawak makanan. Nenek ini suka sangat pais ikan dengan bubur so dia suruh cucu ni bawak tetiap hari. Bila cucu tu bawak makanan lain, Nenek akan tanya " Mana Bubur Tok? ". Lama-lama Bubur Tok jadilah Bebotok - kesan dari cakap cepat-cepat. Itulah ceritanya. Aku kecik lagi masa my Dad cerita tu. So, kalau dia kelentong aku - maka kelentonglah cerita bebotok tu. Sekian adanya.

7. Pernah (or berangan nak) jadi Mat Rock . Aku rasa sebab kedudukan Johor dekat dengan Singapore, sebab itulah pengaruh Barat di Malaysia masuk melalui Johor dulu. Itu teori aku lah. But kalau ikutkan sejarah Johor, Sultan yang mula-mula kawin dengan Mat Salleh pun Sultan Johor (Almarhum). So, tak heranlah kalau kumpulan Rock kat Malaysia ini semua ada susur galur dari Johor. Amy, Zainal Abidin, Nash etc. Boleh pakai ke teori aku ni? Jangan aku kena pancung dengan Sultan, dah ler. Ampun Tuanku!

8. Kenduri Kawin Ada Telur Pindang Telur pindang ialah telur ayam yang direbus dengan segala macam rempah dan dedaun untuk mendapatkan that special taste. Lepas rebus, telur akan berwarna cokelat. Both kulit dan isi. I don't like to eat telur pindang, so I cannot to describe the taste. Normally orang buat telur pindang ni for special occasion, seperti majlis perkahwinan. Zaman dulu-dulu, you can tell the social class of the tuan rumah - normally orang kaya-kaya jer buat telur pindang ni sebab ianya rumit dan makan masa berjam-jam therefore menggunakan kos yang tinggi.

9. Tidur atas LECA** (rhyme with letak and baca, the non-baku way). Baju simpan dalam GEROBOK **.

10. They never watch RTM sebab semua cerita dah tengok kat TV Singapore! When I was growing up, aku cukup suka tengok TV Singapore sebab iklan dia semua dari overseas, very menarik. Besides the cerita yang terkinilah. Yang aku suka ialah iklan jeans Levi's (Let your love flow), iklan lagu Coke (I'd like to build the world a home), iklan Kodak (Times of Your Life -Paul Anka). Paling syok ialah masa Christmas, iklan dan lagu semua best-best. (But itu dulu, sekarang aku rasa semua rancangan sudah semasa.) Well, TV Singapore cuma dapat ditengok oleh penduduk JB dan kawasan yang sewaktu dengannya. As you go further up north (of Johor), you can see aerial TV semua setinggi pokok kelapa - semata-mata nak dapatkan siaran from Singapore!

Apa lagi EKK? Kamus Johor :Bongok - bodoh, Bigor - gila-gila, contoh :- Apek Senario tu macam budak BIGOR ekk? Endut - makwe/pakwe. Awek/balak. Boifren/girlfren. Boleh digunakan tanpa mengira jantina. Berendut - berpasangan. Pergi berendut - dating. Botok-botok, bebotok - sejenis makanan menggunakan ikan, ditambah memacam dedaun, letak serbuk kari (don't ask me - aku tak reti buat) dan dibalut dengan daun betik, diikat dengan tali sebelum dikukus. Alah, macam Pais Ikan tuh. Leca - tilam. Normally dibuat sendiri menggunakan kekabu (orang zaman dulu-dulu semua DIY - tak ada Vono, Slumberland ). Gerobok, Gobok - cupboard. Almari. Tak kiralah simpan kain baju ke, simpan pinggan mangkok ke.

p.s. Orang Johor jangan marah ekkk?

Gender friendship

Seems as though male and female friendship works in different ways

Friendship Between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship Between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a mate's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

Wheel of Fortune

He looks like a friendly type of chap, now what could the phase on his t-shirt be?

Single...

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

* 2 litres of low fat milk
* a carton of eggs
* 2 litres of orange juice
* a head of lettuce
* half a dozen tomatoes
* a 500g jar of coffee
* a 250g pack of mutton

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, A drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."