Questions I've never been able to answer...

• Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
• If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
• Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
• Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
• What is the speed of darkness?
• Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?
• If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
• If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
• Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
• Do you cry under water?
• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......

• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
• Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."
• Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
• Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!!!!!)
• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
• Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
• Stop singing and read on . . . . . . . .
• Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive any faster?