Marriage...

• When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry
• After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Hemant Joshi
• By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
• Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Dumas
• The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is "What does a woman want? - Sigmund Freud
• I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Anonymous
• "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - Henry Youngman
• "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." - Sam Kinison
• "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." - James Holt McGavran
• "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." - Patrick Murray
• Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Nash
• The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... - Anonymous
• You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Henny Youngman
• My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield
• A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle
• Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. - Anonymous
• A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." - Anonymous